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Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. exBJ
There are polar views regarding which factors play a crucial role in success of companies. While some people claim that good teamwork is a key of success of companies, I support those who believe that having a good leader is more necessary. According to a group of people, join efforts of individuals are one of the most important factors that leads organizations to develop. Adherents of this view believe that goals of companies cannot be achieved efficiently without collaborative endeavors of members. Accordingly, if workers are team up under achieving the main objective of an organization, then they will fulfill the given work more effectively by correcting their mistakes and exchanging their ideas. Nevertheless, others, including me, think that a good leader is vital for companies in terms of making efficient financial decisions and supervising workers of companies. Firstly, a head of company improves the financial position of an organization through decreasing the cost and maximizing the profit. For example, leaders make right decisions in terms of choosing right customers or partners that directly affect their revenue and thereby, resulting in high growth of company. Secondly, since another main duty of leaders is to supervise the workers or team members, workers can not deviate from their important tasks that they are responsible for completing. So, good leaders are indispensable factors that causes to increase the success of companies. In conclusion, even though some people believe that success of companies can be achieved with a good teamwork, I share views of people who claim that a good leader is crucial for growth of companies in terms of improving financial position and controlling the workers.
There are polar views regarding which factors play a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teamwork is a key of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, I support those who believe that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is more necessary.

According to a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
efforts of individuals are one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that leads organizations to develop. Adherents of this view believe that goals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
cannot
be achieved
efficiently
without collaborative endeavors of members.
Accordingly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are team up under achieving the main objective of an organization, then they will fulfill the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
work more
effectively
by correcting their mistakes and exchanging their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Nevertheless
, others, including me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in terms of making efficient financial decisions and supervising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Firstly
, a head of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the financial position of an organization through decreasing the cost and maximizing the profit.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right decisions in terms of choosing right customers or partners that
directly
affect their revenue and thereby, resulting in high growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Secondly
, since another main duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
is to supervise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
or team members,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can not deviate from their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks that they are responsible for completing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are indispensable factors that causes to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
be achieved
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teamwork, I share views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is crucial for growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in terms of improving financial position and controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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