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Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children’s development while others think that other areas such as television and friends have greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children’s development while others think that other areas such as television and friends have greater influence. NlyqN
It is believed that the profound effect on the improvement of children is family while the optimal one on other factors such as television and friends are thought to be better. As I opine, both points of view have distinct benefits. There are various compelling reasons why family is believed to be the optimally influential factor in kids’ maturation. First of all, offspring may imitate their parents’ behavior which can improve their cognitive skills. For instance, kids whose parents usually do voluntary work might follow their steps to do some extraordinary work and become a mind-blowing person in the future. Furthermore, family is one of the most important places for building up children’s characteristics in their initial stage-period of life. Some younger generations who grow up in an educational family like both parents work in academic places might have more and more brilliant behavior. However, in teenagers who were born in a dysfunctional family their psychological emotions may get deviant thoughts because of abuse. On the other hand, peer and social media could bring a great deal of advantages. Firstly, they can develop their communication by making new friends and using the Internet. They can learn how to be more social by the behavior of friends or the actress, actor which is one of the keys to success. Moreover, programs might increase young teenagers' passion and broaden their horizons. For example, some kids who are attracted by the science programs may want to become a scientist or some are keen on psychology wanting to be a psychiatrist or psychologist in the future. In conclusion, each factor has distinct benefits affecting children's maturation which leads them becoming bad or outstanding adolescents.
It
is believed
that the profound effect on the improvement of children is
family
while the optimal one on other factors such as television and friends are
thought
to be better. As I opine, both points of view have distinct benefits.

There are various compelling reasons why
family
is believed
to be the
optimally
influential factor in kids’ maturation.
First of all
, offspring may imitate their parents’ behavior which can
improve
their cognitive
skills
.
For instance
, kids whose parents
usually
do voluntary work might follow their
steps to do
some
extraordinary work and become a mind-blowing person in the future.
Furthermore
,
family
is one of the most
important
places for building up children’s characteristics in their initial stage-period of life.
Some
younger generations who grow up in an educational
family
like both parents work in academic places might have more and more brilliant behavior.
However
, in
teenagers
who
were born
in a dysfunctional
family
their psychological emotions may
get
deviant thoughts
because
of abuse.

On the other hand
, peer and social media could bring a great deal of advantages.

Firstly
, they can develop their communication by making new friends and using the Internet. They can learn how to be more social by the behavior of friends or the actress, actor which is one of the keys to success.
Moreover
, programs might increase young
teenagers
' passion and broaden their horizons.
For example
,
some
kids who
are attracted
by the science programs may want to become a scientist or
some
are keen on psychology wanting to be a psychiatrist or psychologist in the future.

In conclusion
, each factor has distinct benefits affecting children's maturation which leads them becoming
bad
or outstanding adolescents.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children’s development while others think that other areas such as television and friends have greater influence.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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