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Some People believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots what is your opinion? v.1

Some People believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots what is your opinion? v. 1
Artificially intelligent robots rather than people will do all of the jobs. While it is possible that artificial robots will perform all types of jobs except robotic technology. Hence this essay will discuss why particularly all of the jobs will undertake robots than human beings. In these days, many jobs are undertaken by artificially intelligent robotic machines. Cumbersome repetitive tasks are difficult for any people, therefore it is better to get it done by robotic machines. For example, all of the work in manufacturing foundries is done by robotic arms without any rest, which lead to maximum profit at large scale in a short span of time. For these reasons, robots will eventually replace almost jobs performed by humans in the upcoming future. Conversely, artificial robotic machines cannot replace few jobs unless they learn that as well. Human beings only know progressing in robotic technology, which outnumbers the artificial robots. For example, developing new algorithms for making artificial intelligent robots, which shall be developed by expert human beings. Because of that major reason, it is in believing, that artificial robots due to their limited functional capacities will not do those jobs that require human knowledge. Some people believe that artificially intelligent robotic machine will perform all of the jobs except those, which require complex level knowledge. All of the repetitive work may be handled by the robots, however, the people will do where the complex development is necessary. In my opinion, I believe that the robotic machines will perform all of the laborious jobs while the expert skilled peoples will do other jobs that require cognitive thinking ability.
Artificially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
robots
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will do
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
it is possible that artificial robots will perform all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this essay will discuss why
particularly
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will undertake robots than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

In these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are undertaken by
artificially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Cumbersome repetitive tasks are difficult for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
For example
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
work in manufacturing foundries
is done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
arms without any rest, which lead to maximum profit at large scale in a short span of time. For these reasons, robots will
eventually
replace almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
performed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the upcoming future.

Conversely
, artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
cannot replace few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
unless they learn that
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know progressing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
technology, which outnumbers the artificial robots.
For example
, developing new algorithms for making artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
robots, which shall
be developed
by expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that major reason, it
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is in believing
, that artificial robots due to their limited functional capacities will not do those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
knowledge.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
artificially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
will perform
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
except those, which require complex level knowledge.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
repetitive work may
be handled
by the robots,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will do where the complex development is necessary. In my opinion, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will perform
Consider using "all the".
all of the
laborious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while the expert skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
will do other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that require cognitive thinking ability.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots what is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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