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Some people believe that crime is a result of social and poverty discuss both view.

Some people believe that crime is a result of social and poverty M33Vk
In this contemporary world, people hold conflicting perceptions when it comes to the crime issue, some people claims that crime and poverty main problem in the society. There are valid explanation for either side how ever in my view crime and poverty. To begin with, there are two Primarly reason to substantiate my stance on this notion. First of all, owing to the advancement in the realm of technology and everything is depend on machines such as paying method like visa card debit card so on. Therefore, in the enterprises, they prefer the machines to accomplish their work rather than recruiting the staff. For instance,
In this contemporary world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold conflicting perceptions when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the crime issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
claims
that crime and poverty main problem in the society. There are valid explanation for either side
Did you mean "however"?
how ever
in my view crime and poverty. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two
Possible spelling mistake found.
Primarly
reason to substantiate my stance on this notion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, owing to the advancement in the realm of technology and everything is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on machines such as paying method like visa card debit card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, in the enterprises, they prefer the machines to accomplish their work
rather
than recruiting the staff.
For instance
,
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IELTS essay Some people believe that crime is a result of social and poverty

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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