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money can not buy happiness. discs pros and cons

money can not buy happiness. discs pros and cons wMMAe
Nowadays there have been a lot of controversies around money cannot buy happiness. Some individuals assume money cannot buy happiness, yet other may think differently. This essay will analyse both perspectives, but I believe that money cannot buy happiness. First of all, some parts of society who think that money can buy happiness also have some rational thoughts behind it. Living in this world requires a lot of money in order to survive. Essentially money is needed to buy food, human needs and a place to live. In this case, it is known by everyone that wealth can buy happiness such as cars, houses, delicious foods and drinks. As a result it is undeniable that wealth can buy happiness sometimes. On contrary, rich people tend to think otherwise that money cannot buy happiness. This is because of behind the wealth they gain there is a lot of sacrifice which are unseen by public sometimes. Extraordinary rich people such as Michael Jackson, Kurt cobain and the others commited suicide despite they are very rich which cannot be compared to normal people who say money cannot buy happiness. This proven that no matter how much money you have it cannot buy happiness. If money can buy happiness famous people would not kill themselves since if they are happy then why did they kill themselves when they should be living if their life is enjoyable. In summary, my point of view is more weighted in money can buy happiness since not everyone can be rich and famous like Michael Jackson and Kurt cobain. Some people are just simply happy with being their family and eating average food and do not need to be like them to be happy with money since happiness comes from gratitude not what we have.
Nowadays there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
controversies around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals assume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
yet
other may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
happiness.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of society who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rational thoughts behind it. Living in this world requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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money
in order to survive.
Essentially
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money
is needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
food, human needs and a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
In this case
, it
is known
by everyone that wealth can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
such as cars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, delicious foods and drinks.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result it is undeniable that wealth can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

On contrary,
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of behind the wealth they gain there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sacrifice which are unseen by public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as Michael Jackson, Kurt
Possible spelling mistake found.
cobain
and the others
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
suicide despite they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
which cannot
be compared
to normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. This proven that no matter how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you have it cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not kill themselves since if they are happy then why did they kill themselves when they should be living if their life is enjoyable.

In summary, my point of view is more weighted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
since not everyone can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
like Michael Jackson and Kurt
Possible spelling mistake found.
cobain
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
happy with being their family and eating average food and do not need to be like them to be happy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from gratitude not what we have.
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IELTS essay money can not buy happiness. discs pros and cons

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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