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Some people believe that crime and poverty discu

Some people believe that crime and poverty discu dppw7
In this contemporary world, people hold conflicting perception when it comes to the crime issues. Some people claims that crime and Poverty main problem in the society. There are valid explanation for either side now in my view crime and poverty. To begin with, there are two Primarly reason to substantiate my stance on this notion. First of all, owning to the advancement in the realm of technology and everything is depend upon on the machine such a paying method debit card so on. Therefore, in the enterprise, they prefer the machine accomplish their work rather recruiting the staff. For instance, in 2020, the employ rate Japane was around 68. 8 million. On the other hand, people committing crime there reason behind is jealous, anger, greed, revenue so on. To eloborate it, if his kith and also kinda are wealthy and high bussiness in the society then some people gaze to jealous then they adapted wrong way to earn money such as stealing, kidnapping so on. Moreover, people fulled their basic needs such as shelters, food, education so on owning to incline inflection in these days that why people do commit crimes for merely they want to living to luxurious life. For epitome, in the future, they do big crime such as murder, smuggling. As result, it is directly bad impact on the next generation. Besides, When child is born, he is good person after that due to financial constraints they becomes culprit.
In this contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold conflicting perception when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
claims
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and Poverty main problem in the society. There are valid explanation for either side
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and poverty. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two
Possible spelling mistake found.
Primarly
reason to substantiate my stance on this notion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, owning to the advancement in the realm of technology and everything is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon on the machine such a paying method debit card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, in the enterprise, they prefer the machine accomplish their work
rather
recruiting the staff.
For instance
, in 2020, the employ rate
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japane
was around 68. 8 million.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
there reason behind is jealous, anger, greed, revenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
eloborate
it, if his kith and
also
kinda are wealthy and high
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
in the society then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gaze to jealous then they adapted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to earn money such as stealing, kidnapping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fulled their basic needs such as shelters, food, education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on owning to incline inflection in these days that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for
merely
they want to
Did you mean "live"?
living
to luxurious life. For epitome, in the future, they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as murder, smuggling. As result, it is
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the
next
generation.
Besides
, When child
is born
, he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person after that due to financial constraints they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "become"
becomes
culprit.

IELTS essay Some people believe that crime and poverty discu

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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