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some people believe that children are given too much of free time. they feel that it should be use to do more school work.

some people believe that children are given too much of free time. they feel that it should be use to do more school work. DlwaA
These days children are given a lot of free time after school which they can use to do a lot of good things. some people think that it should be used to do more school studies and others think the opposite. it will include that, we will go through some of the positive and negative effects on children and what activities they should do in there leisure. To begin with, I like to start with a scenario which will be on giving extra homework to the children to finish at home after school. a student tends to study a lot of different subjects with assign teachers for a course who will give their sort of projects and assignments as homework. After the study, give the chance to students to understand more about what they are studying at school, also will help them to ignite their knowledge about the world. on the other hand, if we say that after school student should not get any homework from school. this step will give students to rejuvenate themselves and do other extracurricular activities such as playing games and participate in sports championships to follow their dreams. In a nutshell, as everyone has their dreams and way to live their life which should give at least that much free time to students after school to find themselves and nurture their abilities. school knowledge surely will lead a student to a better future but being able to take a break and understand that knowledge is also very crucial for an individual.
These days children are
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given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free time after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which they can
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use
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do more
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school
studies
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and others
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think
the opposite.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
will include that, we will go through
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on children and what activities they should do in there leisure.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with a scenario which will be on giving extra homework to the children to finish at home after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
tends to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects with assign teachers for a course who will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
their sort of projects and assignments as homework. After the study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand more about what they are studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to ignite their knowledge about the world.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, if we say that after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any homework from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
step will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to rejuvenate themselves and do other extracurricular activities such as playing games and participate in sports championships to follow their dreams.

In a nutshell, as everyone has their dreams and way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life which should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
at least that much free time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to find themselves and nurture their abilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
school
knowledge
surely
will lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to a better future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being able to take a break and understand that knowledge is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for an individual.
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IELTS essay some people believe that children are given too much of free time. they feel that it should be use to do more school work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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