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Celebrities play an important role in the community. What are advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity?

Celebrities play an important role in the community. What are advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity? XGqoO
At the present time famous people manifest themselves in all spheres of society playing a vital role in social, cultural and commercial life. Being a celebrity has various of benefits. One of the advantages is that fame provides an opportunity to make positive social connections. People of fame receive a special treatment from others such as honor, respect, love and glory. Furthermore, celebrities are able to obtain huge profits. They can afford to love east and luxurious life: live in gorgeous dwellings, spend holidays in resorts, buy expensive brand labels. Another key point is that celebrities are regarded as having an ideal personality and people believe their words and try to follow them. Under those circumstances, celebrities are often involved in a form of brand advertising projects. Celebrities exploit their position to promote products. On the contrary, fame has also some drawbacks. On of essential disadvantages is the lack of private life. Famous people live in the glare of media constantly. It makes unattainable luxury for them routine human activities such as going shopping, eating out with friends and walking around town. Besides, famous people have to always match made-up image and people expectations. Their freedom is choosing their lifestyles is a serious limitation and they have little opportunity to show the world their true personality. In conclusion, the life of a celebrity may be regarded as serious hardship for an individual in spite of numerous benefits which fame gives.
At the present time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
manifest themselves in all spheres of society playing a vital role in social, cultural and commercial life.

Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
has various of benefits. One of the advantages is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
provides an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
social connections.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
receive a special treatment from others such as honor, respect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and glory.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are able to obtain huge profits. They can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
east and luxurious life:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in gorgeous dwellings, spend holidays in resorts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive brand labels. Another key point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are regarded
as having an ideal personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe their words and try to follow them. Under those circumstances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
involved in a form of brand advertising projects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
exploit their position to promote products.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. On of essential disadvantages is the lack of private life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the glare of media
constantly
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
unattainable luxury for them routine human activities such as going shopping, eating out with friends and walking around town.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
always match made-up image and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expectations. Their freedom is choosing their lifestyles is a serious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
limitation and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the world their true personality.

In conclusion
, the life of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
may
be regarded
as serious hardship for an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
numerous benefits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
gives.
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IELTS essay Celebrities play an important role in the community. What are advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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