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Some people believe that automation can help positively transform the economy. Others think otherwise, claiming that it may imply serious economic consequences. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that automation can help positively transform the economy. Others think otherwise, claiming that it may imply serious economic consequences. Dicuss both views and give your opinion. BJ7X9
Nowadays, automation has greatly developed in recent years. In the 21th century, it has had a tremendous influence on many aspects of our lives, especially in terms of economy. So from my perspective, although automation has some drawbacks, I strongly agree that it has greatly changed the economy in a positive way. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages that automation brings about. First of all, some certain automatic devices will cost more money than employing people to do manually, which can be a difficulty for many companies. Businesses have to invest the initial costs that are relatively high. Furthermore, these machines need to be maintained, which means that companies need another investment to pay for maintenance costs. And although automation can replace people in some certain works, some tasks cannot be easily automated. There is still something that needs the professional skills of human. To sum up, it is clear that automation requires a heavy investment, which can be a cost burden for the economy to develop. Nevertheless, despite of this, there are a host of significant benefits that automation brings about. First of all, automation can replace people in some works that require hard physical, repetitive work or even tasks performed in dangerous environments such as those with high temperature, toxic chemicals or atmospheres. Secondly, production is often faster and more effective. If a company invests in automation, it can save the business money and create jobs for people who assemble, design, and maintain the automated machines. Therefore, companies can have more money and they can hire more skillful employees or develop new branches. This will create an economic development for that country. Automation will not only create new types of jobs and increase the proceeds in the economy, it will also pave the way for even more advanced technology in the future. For example, we can see that countries such as the economy of Japan, England of Germany has dramatically developed in the 20th century, thanks to automation in producing cars, weapons or other goods to export. Hence, the standard of living in these countries has greatly improved and they become one of the most prosperous countries in the world. In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks, it is clear that the positive influences of automation outweigh the negative one. Thus, from my perspective, I would agree that the advantages of automation are numerous.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
has
greatly
developed in recent years. In the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century, it has had a tremendous influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from my perspective, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
brings about.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain automatic devices will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
more money than employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
manually
, which can be a difficulty for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. Businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
that are
relatively
high.
Furthermore
, these machines need to
be maintained
, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need another investment to pay for maintenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
. And although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
can replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks cannot be
easily
automated. There is
still
something that needs the professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of human. To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
requires a heavy investment, which can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
burden for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
to develop.

Nevertheless
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
this, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "hosts"?
host
of significant benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
brings about.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
can replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works that require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
physical, repetitive work or even tasks performed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
environments such as those with high temperature, toxic chemicals or atmospheres.
Secondly
, production is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
faster and more effective. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
invests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
, it can save the business money and create jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who assemble, design, and maintain the automated machines.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they can hire more skillful employees or develop new branches. This will create an economic development for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Automation
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create new types of jobs and increase the proceeds in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, it will
also
pave the way for even more advanced technology in the future.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of Japan, England of Germany has
dramatically
developed in the 20th century, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
in producing cars, weapons or other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to export.
Hence
, the standard of living in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
greatly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
improved and
they become one of the most prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one.
Thus
, from my perspective, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
are numerous.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that automation can help positively transform the economy. Others think otherwise, claiming that it may imply serious economic consequences. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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