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Nowadays museums are mainly visited by foreigners or tourists, not by local people. Why do you think this is the case? What can be done to attract local visitors?

Nowadays museums are mainly visited by foreigners or tourists, not by local people. Why do you think this is the case? What can be done to attract local visitors? 2bKLX
It is often argued that the attractions are necessary to increase the economy of our society as a tourism. Some people might think that many historical places such as museums are mostly come over by people who live other nations and visit there occassionally, not by native individuals these days. This essay will address the perspective of visiting museums and suggest the problems and solutions. First of all, going museums are not special to local people anymore. In other words, they are already educated about their country's history for many years in school because the subject is mandatory to be learned. Furthermore, some citizens may feel that coming over museum are meaningless because the majority of information in the attraction is fairly approachable for the local residents. For example, the animal, peacock is very hard to see in other continents such as Asia. However, they easily can be seen in the park in Victoria, so permanent residents of Victoria do not prefer to visit the museums. On the other hand, there are some methods to be done to attract local people on this issue. In order to reduce this phenomenon, government would implement a new policy that the number of students should visit historical attractions as a field trip then the use of local people will be increased. Moreover, the employers of museums are able to promote some different ways to be more attractive for their citizens. For instance, they would display some unique species and then promote the spaces with the provision of affordable price. Once these solutions begin, individuals may have the interests to visit the places to view how it looks like. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that many local citizens might not be interested in visiting museums currently due to some internal reasons, they need to visit to rise up the economy of attractions. The officials and owners should offer some reasonable opportunities to encourage people to go there.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
are necessary to increase the economy of our society as a tourism.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical places such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
there
Possible spelling mistake found.
occassionally
, not by native individuals these days. This essay will address the perspective of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and suggest the problems and solutions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not special to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anymore. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they are already educated about their country's history for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the subject is mandatory to
be learned
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens may feel that coming over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
are meaningless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of information in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
is
fairly
approachable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents.
For example
, the animal, peacock is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
continents such as Asia.
However
, they
easily
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the park in Victoria,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
permanent residents of Victoria do not prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the museums.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to
be done
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on this issue. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this phenomenon,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would implement a new policy that the number of students should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
as a field trip then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be increased
.
Moreover
, the employers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are able to promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to be more attractive for their citizens.
For instance
, they would display
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique species and then promote the spaces with the provision of affordable price. Once these solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, individuals may have the interests to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the places to view how it looks like.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens might not
be interested
in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
currently
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
internal reasons, they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
to rise up the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
. The officials and owners should offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable opportunities to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go there.
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IELTS essay Nowadays museums are mainly visited by foreigners or tourists, not by local people. Why do you think this is the case? What can be done to attract local visitors?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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