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It is better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to attempt to integrate law-breakers back into society?

It is better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to attempt to integrate law-breakers back into society? PVLO2
Nowadays, society has a tendency to become humanitarian. Therefore, in many countries, a majority of severe punishment for prisoners was abolished such as capital punishment because people believe that reforming criminals is much better than chastising them. However, lawbreakers still have some difficulties in integrating into society. This essay will present some possible solutions for this problem. From my perspective, I completely believe that prisons and other punishments are not effective solutions in every situation. First of all, prison is similar to a den of offenders. People will learn a lot about crime and make friends with repeat offenders. Hence, they can commit even more crime when they leave prison. Furthermore, spending too much time in prison can have a bad influence on criminals, especially juvenile crimes. Youngsters who waste a plenty of time in prison can miss the opportunity of starting a new life or they can be treated badly by people after being prisoned. Additionally, the government has to spend a part of budget to maintain the prisons. Instead of this, the government can spend this money on other important fields such as healthcare or education. Therefore, if we reform lawbreakers then we can reduce the crime rate and make our society better. Nevertheless, integrating offenders back into society has numerous difficulties. The main cause of this may be the discrimination of people. Therefore, we need to provide lawbreakers education and job training to help them live in normal life. The government should establish more vocational and educational school instead of prisons. After being prisoned, they can be taught about moral principles and the ability to distinguish between the right and wrong things. If people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence can modify positively, society will change the look at these people and treat them equally. Offenders also can go to school and speak to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime, which will help to reduce the crime rate. In conclusion, although imprisonment is the most popular method to deal with crime problems, I strongly believe that there are better ways to reduce crime rate in the society such as education. I also recommend some possible solutions to help offenders integrate into society.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has a tendency to become humanitarian.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, a majority of severe punishment for prisoners
was abolished
such as capital punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that reforming criminals is much better than chastising them.
However
, lawbreakers
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in integrating into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This essay will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions for this problem.

From my perspective, I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
and other punishments are not effective solutions in every situation.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is similar to a den of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will learn a lot about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with repeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
Hence
, they can commit even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Furthermore
, spending too much time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on criminals,
especially
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Youngsters who waste a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can miss the opportunity of starting a new
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life or
they can
be treated
badly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after being
Possible spelling mistake found.
prisoned
.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend a part of budget to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
Instead
of this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can spend this money on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields such as healthcare or education.
Therefore
, if we reform lawbreakers then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
better.

Nevertheless
, integrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
back into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has numerous difficulties. The main cause of this may be the discrimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, we need to provide lawbreakers education and job training to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in normal life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should establish more vocational and educational school
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. After being
Possible spelling mistake found.
prisoned
, they can
be taught
about moral principles and the ability to distinguish between the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have turned their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
around after serving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentence can modify
positively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the look at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and treat them
equally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Offenders
also
can go to school and speak to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

In conclusion
, although imprisonment is the most popular method to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
problems, I
strongly
believe that there are better ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as education. I
also
recommend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
integrate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay It is better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to attempt to integrate law-breakers back into society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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