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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likeli to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likeli to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes 0bW5
Making the decision is one of the important life skill and this topic is debatable especially for children, whether they are allowed to take any choice related to their desire or just on the crucial aspect. This essay will provide both sides and explain how I believe that children should focus on important decisions that will affect their future. Freedom of any choice that is allowed to the children will encourage them to has independences and assertiveness, for instance selecting the food, stuff, or entertaining. This because they can control their whole life and can be responsible for their made decisions. Although, some people believe that freedom of children’s choice will tend to be more selfish, the children able to evaluate and make better progressions to avoid that inappropriate personality. On the other hand, some people argue that children allow making any important decisions only. They just focus on the crucial field such as education, career, and marriage, this is matters because it will have made a huge effect on their life in the future. So, they just need to think only about this essential matter of life through measuring its pros and cons that will be facing in the future. In conclusion, taking any decision in the children’s lives have an impact on their personalities, besides others believe that they should focus on crucial decisions only. I believe that the child paying more attention about important matters will not disturb and more stable, also they can save their energy only for prepare the important choice to better future.
Making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is one of the
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important
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life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and this topic is debatable
especially
for
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children
, whether they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take any
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choice
related to their desire or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on the crucial aspect. This essay will provide both sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how I
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believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should focus on
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
that will affect their future.

Freedom of any
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choice
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will encourage them to
Did you mean "have"?
has
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independences
and assertiveness,
for instance
selecting the food, stuff, or entertaining. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can control their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and can be responsible for their made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that freedom of
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children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
will tend to be more selfish, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
able to evaluate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better progressions to avoid that inappropriate personality.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
making any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on the crucial field such as education, career, and marriage, this is matters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will have made a huge effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
about this essential matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
through measuring its pros and cons that will be facing in the future.

In conclusion
, taking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have an impact on their personalities,
besides
others
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believe
that they should focus on crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the child paying more attention about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
matters will not disturb and more stable,
also
they can save their energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
to better future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likeli to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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