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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters ( such as food ,clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both theses views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. M6Vo
There is a colossal argument among the people with regard to the independence of making decisions by children’s. Few people says that, kids must be allowed to make choices of their own in their daily activity with out any interruption from adults which eventually develop a community who are self dependent, while on contrary, other think that they must allow only to choose those things which put impact on their future. In this essay will discuss both the view points and my opinion will be outlined in conclusion. To begin with, children are very fragile in nature, if they allow to live their life according to their wish makes them arrogant in future. For example, in China kids are allowed to live independent life as per their term and choice since childhood which makes them more rude and stubborn in their adult stage of life. Therefore, it is imperative to not to provide excess leniency to children and they must take decision on their daily work only under the supervision of their parents. However, in the matter of education and career it is essential to allow make decision because it give them enthusiasm to achieve their future goal. Nevertheless, interrupting on every day matter sometimes distract the children mind which consequently effect the mental ability of the kid. For instance, in a recent survey conducted in New York had revealed that fact that people with pood decision making capability are likely to spend their childhood under immense control of their parents in day-to-day lifestyle. To conclude, although children adopting a living habit as per their choice may make them self depenent, I believe that it also makes them arrogant adult in future, hence they must allow to make choices only under the guidence of their parents.
There is a colossal argument among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with regard to the independence of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
in their daily activity
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any interruption from adults which
eventually
develop a community who are self dependent, while on contrary, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to choose those things which put impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In this essay will discuss both the view points and my opinion will
be outlined
in conclusion
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fragile in nature, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life according to their wish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them arrogant in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For example
, in China kids are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independent life as per their term and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
since childhood which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them more rude and stubborn in their adult stage of life.
Therefore
, it is imperative
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
provide excess leniency to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on their daily work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under the supervision of their parents.
However
, in the matter of education and career it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
them enthusiasm to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
goal.

Nevertheless
, interrupting on every day matter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
distract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind which
consequently
effect the mental ability of the kid.
For instance
, in a recent survey conducted in New York had revealed that fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
pood
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
capability are likely to spend their childhood under immense control of their parents in day-to-day lifestyle.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
adopting a living habit as per their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them self
Possible spelling mistake found.
depenent
, I believe that it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them arrogant adult in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under the
Possible spelling mistake found.
guidence
of their parents.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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