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Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others

Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others 7a96X
The modern technology nowadays improves rapidly, as a result, there is a number of changes in the way we communicate by computer and mobile phone technology. Some people have a belief that using technology in communication is reasonably positive. However; others think technology has an extremely negative influence on interaction for several reasons. This essay will illustrate both of these view points. On one hand, communication by technology brings several useful advantages. First, the invention of the telephone allows people to wider connection. Thanks to the appearance of social networkings such as Facebook, Instagram; people can comfortably get on well with friends and also relatives just by a phone or a computer. Secondly, people may also connect with the society by electronic devices which has a rage of benefits. Whilst connecting with the society by technology devices, people can access to a lot of terrible information. Thanks to that people can easily avoid; consequently, people can raise their awareness and improve their life skills as well as their knowledge. On the other hand, although there are many advantages in using technology connection, there are a number of damaging effects. One negative effect is health damage. Spending too much time using phone or computer will cause dangerous deseases such as short-sighted, obesity, etc. Moreover, Abusing of technology equipment makes people stagnant, passive and extremely lazy. Another negative effect of communicating by phone or computer is making people addicted. The world of technology is always a fascinating and interesting world for all ages, consequently people are easily immersed in it easily. As a result, there is an immeasurable consequence that reduces the human ability thinking. In conclusion, There are some opinions that communication by electronic technology has a very positive effect, on the contrary, there are some opinions disagree that it has a disaproving effect. In my opinion, it is advisable to balance the use of electronic devices in communication and to use it properly.
The modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
rapidly
,
as a result
, there is a number

of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way we communicate by computer and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
technology.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a belief that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
reasonably


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on

interaction for several reasons. This essay will illustrate both of these view points.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings several useful advantages.

First
, the invention of the telephone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to wider connection. Thanks to

the appearance of social
Possible spelling mistake found.
networkings
such as Facebook, Instagram;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can

comfortably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with friends and
also
relatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or a

computer.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
also
connect with the society by electronic

devices which has a rage of benefits. Whilst connecting with the society by

technology devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
terrible information. Thanks to

that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
avoid;
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can raise their awareness and

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as their knowledge.

On the other hand
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in using technology

connection, there are a number of damaging effects. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
is health

damage. Spending too much time using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or computer will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous


Possible spelling mistake found.
deseases
such as short-sighted, obesity, etc.
Moreover
, Abusing of technology

equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stagnant, passive and
extremely
lazy. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative


effect of communicating by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or computer is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted. The

world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is always a fascinating and interesting world for all ages,

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
immersed in it
easily
.
As a result
, there is an

immeasurable consequence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the human ability thinking.

In conclusion
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
by electronic

technology has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
,
on the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions

disagree that it has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
disaproving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
. In my opinion, it is advisable to balance

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
properly
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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