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Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. v. 2
Although sports sponsorship is thought by some to be a useful way for some companies to showcase their products, other people believe that there are also drawbacks being involved in this. In my opinion, I consider that sponsoring sports events by some companies will greatly benefit these companies to advertise their products and equipment. On the one hand, some people think that companies which sponsor sports events often do a better job in increasing their product sales and I agree. Firstly, sports sponsorship provides increased media exposure for a company and its brands. To put it another way, when companies link their names to successful players, this will help them to be recognized in the sports market and, consequently, raising their sales. Take NIKE corporation as an example, Nike’s online sales jumped 31 percent after the company unveiled its sponsorship of the famous football player Lionel Messi. Furthermore, many people think positively of companies that donate products and equipment because they will make players apply themselves on their sports instead of being distracted by financial worries. On the other hand, it is often believed that when companies link their names to some players, this could bring about more negative results for that company. In other words, the company’s reputation is too tightly linked to a player’s reputation. For instance, a player who does drugs or misbehaves will have negative consequences for a company and vice versa. This will affect product sales and will lead to financial failures. Another reason why these companies are dangerous because some of them have hidden purposes that lie behind these advertisements. They use these events to advertise products harmful to health. To cite an example, tobacco companies, among others, should not be allowed to sponsor events as it will use these events to promote their products which, eventually, give rise to tremendous health issues. In conclusion, many people may vary in their opinion, I think that if companies want to increase both of their product sales and their media exposure, they should link their names to successful players.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be a useful way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
also
drawbacks
being involved
in this. In my opinion, I consider that sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
greatly
benefit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and equipment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do a better job in increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship provides increased media exposure for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and its brands. To put it another way, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
link their names to successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
be recognized
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
market and,
consequently
, raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. Take NIKE corporation as an example, Nike’s online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
jumped 31 percent after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
unveiled its sponsorship of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
Lionel Messi.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and equipment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
apply themselves on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
instead
of
being distracted
by financial worries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
link their names to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, this could bring about more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
reputation is too
tightly
linked to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
reputation.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
who does drugs or misbehaves will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and vice versa. This will affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and will lead to financial failures. Another reason why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have hidden purposes that lie behind these advertisements. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
harmful to health. To cite an example, tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, among others, should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which,
eventually
, give rise to tremendous health issues.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
want to increase both of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and their media exposure, they should link their names to successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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