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Some people argue that the government should not pay money for international aid when there are some disadvantaged people at home (homeless or unemployed). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that the government should not pay money for international aid when there are some disadvantaged people at home (homeless or unemployed). BL3Rj
Every year, the government spends tons of money on international aid, but some people do not like this, arguing that the money should go to the citizens at home still living below the poverty line. At first glance, this opposition is well grounded. As the government of any country is mainly responsible for protecting its own citizens from harm of any kind, it seems quite absurd to give money to people in other countries when the citizens at home are suffering from poverty. For example, if there are still many people who are jobless and cannot afford their own houses, the government should try its best to help them by creating more jobs rather than paying money for international aid. The reality, however, is that almost every country across the world, no matter how poor it is, is offering aid to other countries. When Japan was hit by Tsunami in 2003, for instance, it received financial relief from nearly all countries, North Korea included. Giving aid to those countries in need is always regarded as a right thing to do, not only because it can strengthen mutual friendship, but also because it will win global reputation for the country who gives away. This reputation will, in turn, translate into various forms of support, financially or politically, from other countries. A country which never gives aid to other countries may very likely be isolated from the rest of the world. To conclude, offering international aid is never just a matter of money. Far from being a waste of money, it actually gives the country an opportunity to become a member of the international big family. My argument, then, is that giving appropriate financial help to other countries is always necessary, even when there are still some disadvantaged people at home.
Every year, the
government
spends tons of
money
on
international
aid
,
but
some
people
do not like this, arguing that the
money
should go to the citizens at home
still
living below the poverty line.

At
first
glance, this opposition is well grounded. As the
government
of any
country
is
mainly
responsible for protecting its
own
citizens from harm of any kind, it seems quite absurd to
give
money
to
people
in
other
countries
when the citizens at home are suffering from poverty.
For example
, if there are
still
many
people
who are jobless and cannot afford their
own
houses
, the
government
should try its best to
help
them by creating more jobs
rather
than paying
money
for
international
aid.

The reality,
however
, is that almost every
country
across the world, no matter how poor it is, is offering
aid
to
other
countries
. When Japan
was hit
by Tsunami in 2003,
for instance
, it received financial relief from
nearly
all
countries
, North Korea included. Giving
aid
to those
countries
in need is always regarded as a right thing to do, not
only
because
it can strengthen mutual friendship,
but
also
because
it will win global reputation for the
country
who
gives
away. This reputation will, in turn, translate into various forms of support,
financially
or
politically
, from
other
countries
. A
country
which never
gives
aid
to
other
countries
may
very
likely
be isolated
from the rest of the world.

To conclude
, offering
international
aid
is never
just
a matter of
money
. Far from being a waste of
money
, it actually
gives
the
country
an opportunity to become a member of the
international
big
family. My argument, then, is that giving appropriate financial
help
to
other
countries
is always necessary, even when there are
still
some
disadvantaged
people
at home.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that the government should not pay money for international aid when there are some disadvantaged people at home (homeless or unemployed).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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