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Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree. v.6

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. v. 6
There is no doubt that, the trend of technological inventions like the mobile phones is rising exponentially. Some people might argue, due to these inventions people are becoming less socially active and unable to interact. In my opinion, I think that it is absolutely true and especially in children, we can see these affecting a lot. The following consists the reason how these devices are affecting us. To begin with, people are unable to express whatever the thoughts or their feelings to others. This is mainly because, the majority of the time they are indulged with their smart devices, and always forget to care for the persons around them. For example, take the case of children, due to their tendencies towards technology, their relationship with others in decreasing drastically and as a result they are unable to express their emotions. This could eventually lead to other facts like taking less care of the parents in their odd times. Furthermore, due to these the communication skills of the addicted people are lowest. This is because, to make it at its best one has to constantly interact with the social beings, and it makes them to know how to speak with others. For example, many people face stage fear because their communication skills are very low as they don’t know how to convey their message to a vast audience at the same time. So, this leads to less focus towards to their career and eventually becomes a failure, unable to reach his desired goal. In conclusion, it is obvious to say that with the more interaction towards these innovations, it could lead to more distress in the lives of people due to their expressiveness and much more harmful to career due to their skills.
There is no doubt that, the trend of technological inventions like the mobile phones is rising
exponentially
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might argue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to these inventions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming less
socially
active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unable
to interact. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
absolutely
true and
especially
in children, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these affecting a lot. The following consists the reason how these devices are affecting us.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unable
to express whatever the thoughts or their feelings to others. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the majority of the time they
are indulged
with their smart devices, and always forget to care for
Consider using "the surrounding persons".
the persons around them
.
For example
, take the case of children,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their tendencies towards technology, their relationship with others in decreasing
drastically
and
as a result
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unable
to express their emotions. This could
eventually
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facts like taking less care of the parents in their odd times.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to these the communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lowest. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it at its best one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
constantly
interact with the social beings, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to know how to speak with others.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face stage fear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low as they don’t know how to convey their message to a vast audience at the same time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this leads to less focus towards to their career and
eventually
becomes a failure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unable
to reach his desired goal.

In conclusion
, it is obvious to say that with the more interaction towards these innovations, it could lead to more distress in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their expressiveness and much more harmful to career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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