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Some people argue that technological innovations , such as, mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that technological innovations, such as, mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. 6xL2l

Owing to the advancement in technology, people are using different modern devices in their daily life. Some people think that technological resources like mobile phones are making distance between individuals. This essay will explain both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones. My views will be scrutinized in upcoming paragraphs. At the outset, there are various negative impacts of mobile phones on relationships. Firstly,

Owing to the advancement in technology, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 are using This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 modern devices in their daily life. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 that technological resources like mobile phones are making distance between individuals. This essay will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :interpret
explain
 both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones. My views will be scrutinized
 in upcoming paragraphs.

At the outset, there are various This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
 impacts of mobile phones on relationships. Firstly
, 

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological innovations, such as, mobile phones are making people socially less interactive.

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

63 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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