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Some people argue that it is a good for children to study in a boarding school, while others suggest children live with the family.What is your opinion?

Some people argue that it is a good for children to study in a boarding school, while others suggest children live with the family. What is your opinion? 9LYJj
One of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people arguing that it is a good for children to study in a boarding school, while other suggest children live with family. There are both merits and demerits to this trend, although I am of the opinion that former outdo the latter. There are myriad of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant one is that going to boarding school makes children self-dependent. Not only do children perform their daily tasks themselves, but they also have to face a new environment and different people. Apparently, it gives them an opportunity to learn a great many attributes such as discipline, punctuality and social skills. Needless to say, all these merits will stand student in good stead, when it comes to preparing them well for future. There are, however, some drawbacks which can easily overwhelm the potential benefits of boarding school. The primary one stems from the fact that they have tough rules and regulations which are cumbersome for adolescents to follow. Besides, living far away from home for a long time period can create a gap between parents and children. It is apparent that why many are against of boarding school. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the despite having some drawbacks, the benefits of boarding school are indeed too great to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is a colossal upsurge in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
arguing that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while other suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with family. There are both merits and demerits to this trend, although I am of the opinion that former outdo the latter.

There are myriad of arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. The most preponderant one is that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
self-dependent. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
perform their daily tasks themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a new environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Apparently
, it gives them an opportunity to learn a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attributes such as discipline, punctuality and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Needless to say, all these merits will stand student in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to preparing them well for future.

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which can
easily
overwhelm the potential benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The primary one stems from the fact that they have tough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations which are cumbersome for adolescents to follow.
Besides
, living far away from home for a long time period can create a gap between parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is apparent that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are against of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
school.

In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are
indeed
too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is a good for children to study in a boarding school, while others suggest children live with the family. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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