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Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion 7k6Y
In the modern era, sports becoming famous in all around the world. A number of people say that organize sport events is aid to nation development. However, there are other individuals have opine in revers manor. Before coming my opinion both the view will discussed in ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, some people argue that sport event help to nation for economical and infrastructure revolution. This mainly because port event such as olympic and word championship invite foreign people to part in those event. Due to this, more and more traveler visit host nation for see sport. As a result, host country can earn money form tourism industry. What is more, due to sport event to nations are come together and their relationship between both countries more strong. For example, India and Pakistan both nation hold cricket event as consequently both civilize improve their bonding. On the other hand, a number of people have think other way, wasting hard money on sports events can not help to improve nation's economy. Due to sports event numorios individuals are welcoming in host country, some of people are come with drugs and alcohol which is involve in law breaking. Furthermore, if there is some conflict between two player, this impact may turn into nation issue. As a result, both the nation relationship broke and some time even worst to convert into war as well. In conclusion, Although some people believe that sport events welcoming war and nation comflict issue, i support and opine to sport events aid to counties development in tourism industry and improve relationship between some nations.
In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in all around the world. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
development.
However
, there are other individuals have
Use past participle here: "opined".
opine
in revers manor.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
coming my opinion both the view will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discussed
in ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for economical and infrastructure revolution. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
port
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympic
and word championship invite foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to part in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. Due to this, more and more traveler visit host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
As a result
, host country can earn money form tourism industry.
What is more
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and their relationship between both countries more strong.
For example
, India and Pakistan both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
hold cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
as
consequently
both civilize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their bonding.
On the other hand
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
other way, wasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
nation's economy. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
Possible spelling mistake found.
numorios
individuals are welcoming in host country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with drugs and alcohol which is
Consider using a past participle here: "involved".
involve
in law breaking.
Furthermore
, if there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflict between two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'player' seems to be countable, so consider using: "players".
player
, this impact may turn into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
issue.
As a result
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
relationship broke and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time even worst to convert into war
as well
.
In conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
welcoming war and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
Possible spelling mistake found.
comflict
issue,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
support and opine to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
aid to counties development in tourism industry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relationship between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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