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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that agood salary leads to ab better life.

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that agood salary leads to ab better life. pOQD
Generally humans needs to work to survive and accommodate their everyday essential needs as well as to sustain their lifestyle. It is argued by many to what is necessary as to work in a pleasant atmosphere with a low income or receiving a compensated salary but having unpleasant feeling. In my opinion and experienced it is still best to have a high earning than a less amount of money each payday. To begin with, to work in enjoyable workplace and doing job that you like gives a person a sense of satisfaction. For instance, a 9-5 hours job would be a typical and normal hours of work a day. Connected to this, is a peaceful place where your colleague and boss are kind and supportive. Although a minimum wage is given but the fact of stress free will make your stay more enjoyable. Aside from that, we all aware that stress and pressure can contribute a detrimental effect in our health in the long run. So, to work in a less stress and pressure can add a positive outlook and a more productive individual. On the other hand, it is undeniable that money is a vital tool to sustain a comfortable life. To give an example, a father which is the head of the family working more than 8 hours a day with load of work to finish. Lack of time to his children because of his nature of work. But earning an extremely high amount of money. Consequently, he can send his children to a better schools, aside from that he can provide a comfortable house and buy all their needs. Link to quality time he can take a short leave and spend a relative overseas vacation. Even though, working is pressure and a stressful job still he can compensate his time and work together. To sum up, In our modern world and life still in my opinion a compensated income is more vital to provide a convenient life to us and our family.
Generally
humans needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to survive and accommodate their everyday essential needs
as well
as to sustain their lifestyle. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to what is necessary as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a pleasant atmosphere with a low income or receiving a compensated salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having unpleasant feeling. In my opinion and experienced it is
still
best to have a high earning than a less amount of money each payday.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in enjoyable workplace and doing job that you like gives a person a sense of satisfaction.
For instance
, a 9-5 hours job would be a typical and normal hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a day. Connected to this, is a peaceful place where your colleague and boss are kind and supportive. Although a minimum wage is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fact of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your stay more enjoyable. Aside from that, we all aware that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure can contribute a detrimental effect in our health in the long run.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outlook and a more productive individual.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that money is a vital tool to sustain a comfortable life. To give an example, a father which is the head of the family working more than 8 hours a day with load of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to finish. Lack of time to his children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
earning an
extremely
high amount of money.
Consequently
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
his children to a better schools, aside from that he can provide a comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all their needs. Link to quality time he can take a short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and spend a relative overseas vacation.
Even though
, working is pressure and a stressful job
still
he can compensate his time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together.

To sum up, In our modern world and life
still
in my opinion a compensated income is more vital to provide a convenient life to us and our family.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that agood salary leads to ab better life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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