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Some people argue Laws changes human behavior whereas some disagree. Do you agree with it? Argumentative / persuasive/ opinionated type essay

Some people argue Laws changes human behavior whereas some disagree. Do you agree with it? Argumentative / persuasive/ opinionated type essay Kw361
The law is a tool that government uses to have control over the population. They are endorsed to fend off chaos, hence authorities have the absolute power over the population. Although some people believe that laws do not control people's behavior, others think otherwise. In my opinion, laws modify the individual's comportment. First of all, laws must be devised to constrain people's wrongdoings. It is certain to say that when someone is about to commit a crime, laws must exist to stop the criminals. It is right to state that persons' behavior vary from country to country and each country has its own law system; however, their laws ought to be consistent according to the misbehavior. Moreover, there are different types of laws for different circumstances; however, in the end, they all achieve the same goal, the prevention of crime. For instance, there are laws related to the work environment, for example to protect the employees from exploitation in the work place. Furthermore, there are others related to the cyber attacks. They try to prohibit hackers from hacking one's computer. Finally, persons' behavior often change in reaction to the law. If some individuals do not change their way of life, they will certainly be punished for misconduct.
The
law
is a tool that
government
uses
to have control over the population. They
are endorsed
to fend off chaos,
hence
authorities have the absolute power over the population. Although
some
people
believe that
laws
do not control
people
's behavior, others
think
otherwise
. In my opinion,
laws
modify the individual's comportment.

First of all
,
laws
must
be devised
to constrain
people
's wrongdoings. It is certain to say that when someone is about to commit a crime,
laws
must
exist to
stop
the criminals. It is right to state that persons' behavior vary from country to country and each country has its
own
law
system;
however
, their
laws
ought to be consistent according to the misbehavior.

Moreover
, there are
different
types of
laws
for
different
circumstances;
however
, in the
end
, they all achieve the same goal, the prevention of crime.
For instance
, there are
laws
related to the work environment,
for example
to protect the employees from exploitation in the work place.

Furthermore
, there are others related to the
cyber attacks
. They try to prohibit hackers from hacking one's computer.

Finally
, persons' behavior
often
change
in reaction to the
law
. If
some
individuals do not
change
their way of life, they will
certainly
be punished
for misconduct.
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IELTS essay Some people argue Laws changes human behavior whereas some disagree. Do you agree with it? Argumentative / persuasive/ opinionated type essay

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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