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In the given set of materials, the focus of the passage is on the reasons which might have caused the extinction of the Steller's sea cows lived near coast of Siberia.

In the given set of materials, the focus of the passage is on the reasons which might have caused the extinction of the Steller's sea cows lived near coast of Siberia. g5qkD
In the given set of materials, the focus of the passage is on the reasons which might have caused the extinction of the Steller's sea cows lived near coast of Siberia. While the writer puts forward three possible reasons for the topic, the professor casts doubt on each reason and claims that there are problems with each one. First and foremost, according to the passage, overhunting by native Siberian people may have caused the sea cows extinction as they were great source of food. However, the professor refutes this reason by stating that these creatures were massive animals, that some of them weights up to ten tons, and a few numbers of them would be sufficient as food for months. Also, the native Siberian population was not very large, and hence, there was no logical reason for them to overhunt these animals. Second, in the writer's view, ecosystem disturbances may have caused a scarcity of these creature's source of food which led to their extinction, On the other hand, the professor challenges this notion by mentioning that was this the case, then other parts of the ecosystem would have been affected as well such as a decline in whale population. But there is no evidence of such damages. Therein, this claim is not convincing. Last but not least, the professor rejects the third reason of the writer, killed by European fur traders which led to extinction, by pointing out that by the time they arrived in Siberia, population of these animals was already small. Therefore, something else was causing the extinction long before the arrival of Europeans.
In the
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given
set of materials, the focus of the passage is on the
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reasons
which might have caused the
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extinction
of the
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Steller
's sea cows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
near coast of Siberia. While the writer puts forward three possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the topic, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
casts doubt on each
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reason
and claims that there are problems with each one.

First
and foremost, according to the passage, overhunting by native Siberian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have caused the sea
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cows'" or "cow's"?
cows
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extinction
as they were great source of food.
However
, the
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professor
refutes this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
by stating that these creatures were massive animals, that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them weights up to ten tons, and a few numbers of them would be sufficient as food for months.
Also
, the native Siberian population was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large, and
hence
, there was no logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
overhunt
these animals.

Second, in the writer's view, ecosystem disturbances may have caused a scarcity of
Did you mean "this creature" or "these creatures"?
these creature
's source of food which led to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
,
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
challenges this notion by mentioning that was this the case, then other parts of the ecosystem would have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as well
such as a decline in whale population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is no evidence of such damages. Therein, this claim is not convincing.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
rejects the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of the writer, killed by European fur traders which led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, by pointing out that by the time they arrived in Siberia, population of these animals was already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.
Therefore
, something else was causing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the arrival of Europeans.
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IELTS essay In the given set of materials, the focus of the passage is on the reasons which might have caused the extinction of the Steller's sea cows lived near coast of Siberia.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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