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Some parents think it good to have mobile phone for their children , other disagree with it .discuss both side and give your opinion.

Some parents think it good to have mobile phone for their children, other disagree with it. Yo9B
in this era technology are advance in day by day, so different type of useful devices are also present. like mobile, tab, laptop so on. basically children mostly use that perticular device like Mobile. some parents allow to their children for use a Mobile. however other parents have different thinking about that, because they are not give a permission to children for excess a mobile. in this eassy is going to look at two perspective and later will state the personal opinion. firstly, if children have a mobile so they are easily access the internet and which are useful for study and help to learn a various type of extra courses from the mobile. children can also able to watch the tv shows, stories and movies. Gain a small bit information about various update of technology and further important news about it. children are improve their knowledge to related of study and extra circular activities. secondly, if children go to the school and some time they are not present at the home as per their time, so parents can quickly contact to our children. suppose any time children go to unknown place so their are easily reach to known place with help of the lacotion tool. then next is, with the support of Mobile children can made a project confidently without any doubts. share their ideas and thinking with other friends. Lot's of application are there and as per children requirements they are frequently using those application for complete their needs. children can rapidly made any iteams with help of it. on the other hand, there are many side effects if children using mobile. they always depending on the phone and that harmful for body. every time children attached with the games and site, which are harm your eyes and mind. children can watch unnecessary site and that is not secure for children. if they always link with phone, so they definantly making a feck friends and creating few issues about them. in addition, some people addicted with phone, which are impact on their mind, when they took a wrong step in their life. children are not listen any talk from their family, always doing work as per their thinking and that age could not capable to take any decision and not convenient for using mobile. to conclude, children mind are not capable for choose the wrong and right things and at that time parent give mobile so that is not good for them. mobile are helpful for the adult as well as children, but children spend more time with mobile without any elder take care so that is properly wrong. children should not allow to using mobile and i firmly support with that.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this era technology are advance in day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of useful devices are
also
present.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
like
mobile, tab, laptop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
basically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
perticular
device like Mobile.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a Mobile.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thinking about that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not give a permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for excess a mobile.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
is going to look at two perspective and later will state the personal opinion.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a mobile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "accessed".
access
the internet and which are useful for study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to learn a various type of extra courses from the mobile.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, stories and movies. Gain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
It seems that there's a missing preposition after 'small'.
bit
information about various update of technology and
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
news about it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Consider using a past participle here: "improved".
improve
their knowledge to related of study and extra circular activities.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to the school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are not present at the home as per their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
quickly
contact to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
suppose
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to unknown place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "reached".
reach
to known place with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lacotion
tool.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
next
is, with the support of Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can made a project
confidently
without any doubts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
share
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and thinking with other friends.
Did you mean "lots"?
Lot's
of application are there and as per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
requirements they are
frequently
using
Did you mean "this application" or "those applications"?
those application
for complete their needs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can
rapidly
made any
Possible spelling mistake found.
iteams
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
side effects if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using mobile.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
always depending on the phone and that harmful for body.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attached with the games and site, which are harm your eyes and mind.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
unnecessary site and
that is
not secure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
they always link with phone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
definantly
making a
Possible spelling mistake found.
feck
friends and creating few issues about them.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
addicted with phone, which are impact on their mind, when they took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
step in their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
are not listen any talk from their family, always doing work as per their thinking and that age could not capable to take any decision and not convenient for using mobile.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind are not capable for choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right things and at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
give mobile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
mobile
are helpful for the adult
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with mobile without any elder take care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
Did you mean "use"?
using
mobile and i
firmly
support with that.
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IELTS essay Some parents think it good to have mobile phone for their children, other disagree with it.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
454 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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