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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys N58q
It is true that many parents buy a toys for their children because toys are being made so attractive to look at that's why children easily attract and buy toys. hence, there are many pros and cons to play with toys and having a large number of toys. First of all, I believe that play with toys are beneficial for their all round development in such a way they become creative as well as improve their focus towards problem solving skills. For example, children play baby blocks which helps to increase their concentration as well as their thinking ability. seconly, parents need to provide toys according to their age. so, that children can understand the importance of toys. Moreover, sometimes both parents are working. so that, they can not give enough time and give toys to play with that's way they think that children can learn something to play with toys and encourage to play toys. There are many advantages to play with toys but parents need to pay attention towards their negative impacts. sometimes children become more stubborn and more dependent on toys because working parents does not have a time to spend with them and share their feelings. it is effected on their nature as well as they become introvert and children do not like to socialize. It reduce their understanding towards other people. For example, In the past, most parents preferred to play their children on mostly outdoor as they become children more socialize and extroverts. To conclude, To play with toys have many benefits for their overall growth but it doesn't mean that parents doesn't give them time to share their feelings and socialize with real world.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are
being made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attractive to look at that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
easily
attract and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and having
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are beneficial for their all round development in such a way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
creative
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their focus towards problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
baby blocks which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase their concentration
as well
as their thinking ability.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
seconly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
according to their age.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, that
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children
can understand the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that, they can not give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with that's way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and encourage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to pay attention towards their
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negative
impacts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more stubborn and more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
does not have a time to spend with them and share their feelings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is effected
on their nature
as well
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
introvert and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not like to socialize. It
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
their understanding towards other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, In the past, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on
mostly
outdoor as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more socialize and extroverts.
To conclude
, To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for their
overall
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn't mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
doesn't give them time to share their feelings and socialize with real world.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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