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Some parents buy large number of toys for their children advantages and disadvantages

Some parents buy large number of toys for their children advantages and disadvantages brJw6
In this essay I’m going to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of buying number of toys and give several suggestion. Statics shows huge number of parents nowadays spend large amount of money for buying toys for their children. The main benefits of buying expensive toys is that they have educational purpose. Parents believe by playing interactive games, children will enhance their learning skill and understanding. Many toys are designed to have a educational concepts. For example scramble helps improve vocabulary and word generation ideas. Consequently, children who play with educational toys can become smarter then their peers. Secondly in families were both parents work, it is extremely difficult for them to dedicate enough time for the children. As a result, parents buy toys for their children to compensate for the time they are unable to spend with children. Despite the above mentioned positive arguments, there are some advantages to having to many toys. The biggest problem is children become introverts. In the past, toddlers used to play outdoor games with their peers which in turn helped them develop skills such us leadership and teamwork. On the contrary, now they are becoming reclusive because they play alone with their toys. Therefore, the don’t easily mingle with others. Moreover they spend less time with their parents and more time with non-living objects, they are not attached to their parents. This discourage them from sharing their emotions with their parent. To conclude, playing with toys certainly benefits children because it helps them to learn many new things and useful skills however, if children spend to much with their toys. Or if they have a too many toys, they may become introverts with poor social skills.
In this essay I’m going to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of buying number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and give
Possible agreement error. The noun suggestion seems to be countable; consider using: "several suggestions".
several suggestion
. Statics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
large amount of money for buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The main benefits of buying expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
is that they have educational purpose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
believe by playing interactive games,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will enhance their learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and understanding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are designed
to have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
educational
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "concept"?
concepts
.
For example
scramble
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
vocabulary and word generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who play with educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can become
Did you mean "smarter than"?
smarter then
their peers.
Secondly
in families were both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work, it is
extremely
difficult for them to dedicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to compensate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Despite the above mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
arguments, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to having to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. The biggest problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become introverts. In the past, toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play outdoor games with their peers which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such us leadership and teamwork.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are becoming reclusive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they play alone with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
Therefore
,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'don' is correct. If 'don' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the don
’t
easily
mingle with others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with non-living objects, they are not attached to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
The verb 'discourage' is plural. Did you mean: "This discourages"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This discourage
them from sharing their emotions with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
To conclude
, playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
certainly
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
however
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Did you mean "too"?
to
much with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. Or if they have a too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, they may become introverts with poor social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy large number of toys for their children advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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