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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. njQE
Nowadays, the job's world is costantly evolving and changing continuously whether you work in the world of finance or work in an office. Today many companies think that to work well you have to dress well while others think that performance is better than clothing. I think they are both valid company policies but it depends on what type of work you do. If your job is to be in contact with the public, for example if you are a real estate agent, i believe that you have to dress properly because you have to look like a serious and reliable person but i think thatbesides clothes you must also have good rhetoric. Also, there are many jobs where you have to look elegant, and therefore you have to have the right clothing, for example if you host a news program or if you are a politician. On the other hand, in my view there are many other jobs where you have to work a lot and therefore it is not important how you dress but how much you can produce. If you work in a office but do not come into contact with the public, for example in an accounting office where you have only to do calculations all day, you can dress as you want. In conclusion, I'm of the opinion that the policy of proper dressing reflects modern society where the outward appearance is more important than the inward one. In my view it does not matter how you dress but how you well you can do your job.
Nowadays, the job's world is
Possible spelling mistake found.
costantly
evolving and changing
continuously
whether you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the world of finance or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an office.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
well while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that performance is better than clothing.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they are both valid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
policies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends on what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
you do.

If your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is to be in contact with the public,
for example
if you are a real estate agent,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look like a serious and reliable person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
thatbesides
clothes you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rhetoric.

Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look elegant, and
therefore
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have the right clothing,
for example
if you host a news program or if you are a politician.

On the other hand
, in my view there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a lot and
therefore
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how much you can produce. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into contact with the public,
for example
in an accounting office where you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to do calculations all day, you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
as you want.

In conclusion
, I'm of the opinion that the policy of proper dressing reflects modern society where the outward appearance is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the inward one. In my view it does not matter how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how you well you can do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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