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Some museums charge visitors for admission while others are free. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some museums charge visitors for admission while others are free. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience 16LG
Nowadays, many tourist attractions are present globally which are offered and promoted by the government and one of them is the museum. Museums also preserve and represent the history, traditions, and many other important aspects of a country. In many museums, there is a policy that the visitors have to pay money before entering while others are free to visit. Whereas many put forward opposite proposition, I hold to the belief that the imperfectness of charging visitors for the museum entrance is far outweighed by its practical benefits First and foremost, the detrimental impacts of the fee are the ground that people argue against this entrance fee to the museum. Obviously, ticket money for museum entrance discourages many students and low-income families to visit them. Equally important, the main reason museums get public funds is to convey the national history to the young people and to act as national pride, not to earn ticket money. Nevertheless, money collected from the visitors can be utilized to maintain and develop the museum. For instance, it can be used to cover utility bills, repairing costs, renovation, and staff costs. Maintaining a large museum costs a huge amount of money and the revenue earned from the visitors could be a good source of money to do that. Additionally, not all museums are funded by the government, and sometimes museum’s fund is not enough to cover all the costs it requires. If no money is taken from visitors, such museums would have to be shut down. So admission fee in museums seems very utilitarian to maintain a better museum. To recapitulate, it is undeniable that charging visitors for the museum not only has the ability to support and develop the museum but also helps people understand the value of historical culture.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist attractions are present globally which
are offered
and promoted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and one of them is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
also
preserve and represent the history, traditions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of a country. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, there is a policy that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering while others are free to visit. Whereas
Possible agreement error. The noun put seems to be countable; consider using: "many puts".
many put
forward opposite proposition, I hold to the belief that the imperfectness of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entrance is far outweighed by its practical benefits

First
and foremost, the detrimental impacts of the fee are the ground that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue against this entrance fee to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Obviously
, ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entrance discourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students and low-income families to visit them.
Equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, the main reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
public funds is to convey the national history to the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and to act as national pride, not to earn ticket money.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
collected from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can
be utilized
to maintain and develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
For instance
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cover utility bills, repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
, renovation, and staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
. Maintaining a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the revenue earned from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do that.
Additionally
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum’s
fund is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cover all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
it requires. If no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is taken
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be shut
down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
admission fee in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
utilitarian to maintain a better museum.

To recapitulate, it is undeniable that charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has the ability to support and develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand the value of historical culture.
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IELTS essay Some museums charge visitors for admission while others are free. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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