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Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things that create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. Do you agree or disagree?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things that create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. l0DW
In modern world the problem of solvency remains relevant. Some artists have a great wealth from the things they generate by their hand, however there are a large proportion of creative people have to overcome the trouble to survive. One of the most heplful things constitute that government should take action to change an unfair situation. I agree with this statement, because some artist due to circumstances have a small income and have to suffer from lack of money. This essay will discuss the reasons why government should change this situation. First of all, if the profession of artists will bring so little money, then fewer and fewer people will choose it in the future, there will be a shortage of specialists in this art field. It may lead to the fact that some areas of artistic art may gradually disappear. To illustrate, the art direction of surrialism gradually disappeared from the face of art, because over time, surrialist artists were less and less popular and received less and less money for their work. This led to the fact that they had to leave surrialism and move to a new art direction. Secondly, some artists come from well-to-do families, so they are initially in more superior conditions than poor artists. They have the opportunity and connections with other artists, so they can promote their work and get a lot of money. The government must ensure that all artists are treated equally. For example, recently there was a big scandal in one of the cities of France, when the work of an aspiring artist was added to the exhibition of a famous artist. The fact is that the work of this person was very mediocre, but it was still highly paid and appreciated by critics thanks to the connections. This injustice was noticed by journalists and soon this artist was exposed, but this does not negate the fact that such unfair things happen in the art world. To sum up, art is an arena that has many features. To become famous, an artist must put a lot of effort, time and money, which is not available to everyone. The state should help all aspiring artists in this regard, then there will be no question of poverty and the struggle for survival.
In modern world the problem of solvency remains relevant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have a great wealth from the things they generate by their hand,
however
there are a large proportion of creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
overcome the trouble to survive. One of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
heplful
things constitute that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
an unfair situation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
due to circumstances have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
income and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss the reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this situation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if the profession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, then fewer and fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will choose it in the future, there will be a shortage of specialists in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
field. It may lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
may
gradually
disappear. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
direction of
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrialism
gradually
disappeared from the face of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
over time,
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
popular and received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This led to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrialism
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
direction.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from well-to-do families,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
initially
in more superior conditions than poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. They have the opportunity and connections with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are treated
equally
.
For example
, recently there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
scandal in one of the cities of France, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of an aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the exhibition of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of this person was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
mediocre,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
still
highly
paid and appreciated by critics thanks to the connections. This injustice
was noticed
by journalists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
was exposed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this does not negate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that such unfair things happen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
world.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an arena that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features. To become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort, time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which is not available to everyone. The state should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in this regard, then there will be no question of poverty and the struggle for survival.
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IELTS essay Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things that create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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