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Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. EjGR
People have different points of view about prices for modern arts. Some people believe that modern artists are overvalued and governments should make something with this unfair situation, while others live in need. I personally tend to agree with last statement and think that these days authorities already have instruments for influencing on that. This situation consists of two aspects – skills and money. First of all, artist - is a profession and person have to study it. A lot of modern artist don’t have any art education what give a particular result – huge amount of arts don’t have any ideas and quality and are made only for selling. We can recall famous scene in the art gallery from the film “1+1”. It shows that modern art looks weird and cost a lot. Second part of this situation is huge prices. I would suggest that governments have to make extra taxes for luxury in order to arts. Because of cheating from rich people with avoid tax. For instance, person with money wants avoid some taxes. He can take painting from modern artist and appreciate it for really big price. After he present this painting as a charity what counts as a real money. Authorities can prevent this with extra taxes mechanism. In conclusion want to sum up. Modern artists are overvalued because not all of them have art education and they create low quality things only for selling. Other side of this situation – is money and cheating from rich people. Governments have to influence on this with laws which take extra taxes for luxury.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view about prices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are overvalued
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
something with this unfair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in need. I
personally
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with last statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these days authorities already have instruments for influencing on that.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
consists of two aspects
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
is a profession and person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
don’t have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
education what give a particular result
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
don’t have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and quality and
are made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for selling. We can recall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
scene in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
gallery from the film “1+1”. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
looks weird and cost a lot.

Second part of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is huge prices. I would suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for luxury in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of cheating from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
.
For instance
, person with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Probably a preposition is missing after 'wants'.
wants avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. He can take painting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and appreciate it for
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
price. After he present this painting as a charity what counts as a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this with extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
mechanism.

In conclusion
want to sum up.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are overvalued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all of them have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they create low quality things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for selling. Other side of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and cheating from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
influence on this with laws which take extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for luxury.
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IELTS essay Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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