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Some jobs require parents to travel a great deal. What are the effects on the parents who have to travel? What effects does this have on the family in general? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some jobs require parents to travel a great deal. What are the effects on the parents who have to travel? What effects does this have on the family in general? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience. A3Vrn
Some individuals hold the notion that there are advantages for guardians who worked outside the country. I believe that there are negative effects of being an overseas worker for the head of the family and its members. To begin with, the main responsibility of both parents is to bring up and support their children's needs. Being employed in a distant place which they need to leave their offspring makes them not accomplish their primary roles to the family. Fathers need to leave their own house and work in a distant place. Living far away from their family makes them lonely and longing for their family because they are alone and no one will check on them from time to time. Some guardians tend to look for someone in their workplace to be with someone to understand and give their needs. Therefore, this might affect their relationship with their partner who left at home. Furthermore, family is greatly affected once one or both of their parents leave them to work overseas. Children are not supervised while they are growing. This might affect their attitudes and behavior since no one is present to guide them in their daily life. Likewise, young generations tend to do anything they want and not listening to their guardians. Therefore, some of the students who have no guardians present with them, do not finish their studies and might end up being a burden to their families. Parents who need to work in a far place believe it is beneficial to them and to their family. In my opinion, this kind of setup is not good for the family and it may ruin the relationship with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals hold the notion that there are advantages for guardians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked outside the country. I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of being an overseas worker for the head of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and its members.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main responsibility of both parents is to bring up and support their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Being employed
in a distant place which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their offspring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them not accomplish their primary roles to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Fathers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and work in a distant place. Living far away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lonely and longing for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are alone and no one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on them from time to time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
guardians tend to look for someone in their workplace to be with someone to understand and give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Therefore
, this might affect their relationship with their partner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at home.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
once one or both of their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them to work overseas. Children are not supervised while they are growing. This might affect their attitudes and behavior since no one is present to guide them in their daily life.
Likewise
, young generations tend to do anything they want and not listening to their guardians.
Therefore
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no guardians present with them, do not finish their studies and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being a burden to their families.

Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to work in a far place believe it is beneficial to them and to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In my opinion, this kind of setup is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and it may ruin the relationship with each other.

IELTS essay Some jobs require parents to travel a great deal. What are the effects on the parents who have to travel? What effects does this have on the family in general? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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