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Some Individuals says that Universities should allocate

Some Individuals says that Universities should allocate 9lRl3
Some Individuals says that Universities should allocate the same amount of money to sports activities as they give to university libraries. They claim that the importance of sports activities and libraries are the same. I do not totally agree with this idea Universities are the best place to study, to gain new skills and improve your knowledge, It is not a sports centre. Also, Students need the most up-to-date library facilities available to get the best education. Many of these facilities are very expensive and it is hard to afford. Despite this many universities have sports teams and provide students with opportunities to be a success in sports careers. Some universities even offer a scholarship to students who have proved themselves in sports. That is why it is not an acceptable statement to give the same amount of money to sports activities and the library. In a different manner, physical activity must be up to a person. Students can do some workout outside of the university, they can go to a public outdoor gym or they can keep themselves fit at home on their own. However, I must say that every university should have a few playing fields, a pool, and a fitness centre where students may have a rest To sum up, sports activities are very important to students health, but if there is limited money, we have to spend more money on libraries than on sports activities. Because libraries are necessities of a university, which need a large amount of money to run, and many students enjoy them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Individuals
You should probably use "say".
says
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
should allocate the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as they give to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
libraries. They claim that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and libraries are the same. I do not
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
idea


Universities are the best place to study, to gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your knowledge, It is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
need the most up-to-date library facilities available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these facilities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to afford. Despite this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teams and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with opportunities to be a success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
careers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
even offer a scholarship to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have proved themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
That is
why it is not an acceptable statement to give the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the library.

In a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manner, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be up to a person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workout
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they can go to a public outdoor
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gym or
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit at home on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should have a few playing fields, a pool, and a fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have a rest

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if there
is limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on libraries than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
libraries are necessities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, which need a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to run, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enjoy them.
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IELTS essay Some Individuals says that Universities should allocate

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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