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Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. rNyp
Few countries governments provides monetary benefits on training individuals to make them successful in multi-national sporting events. Few people believe that instead providing more benefits to individuals govenments should rather focus more on diversifing the monetary benefits to general public. I agree and support that governments focus on some individuals alot and spend tons of money for making the acheive precious metals at international sporting events. Firstly, I like to draw reads attention towards the importance of global sporting events. Countries from different part of the world gather to one place to celebrate the sporting events. This shows the common interest of diversified population. Some of the global sporting events are held to maintain peace and fair trade agreements with each other in countries. This is the place where one country can showcase their talents and attract friendship amoung countries which share boundries and which intend to have healthy relations. Secondly, The participation in global events by country shows the behaviour and nature of country. It also signifies that how likely they are going to help each other in times of natural calamiites and border issues. The global events has great importance henceforth few countries spend alot of money on individuals to represent their countries and make them proud by wining prestigious medals and certificates in these events. By spending and providing monetary benefits to some individuals, many atheletes promotes general awareness in public and atteact foreign brands and products which ultimately benefits countries in terms of generating employment, foreign direct investments and many other benefits. Example: Olympics is held every 5 years and one of the wrestler name Sushil kumar won silver medal for India attracted many foreign brands asking him to endorse for their products such as health supplements and sporting gears. This generated interest in general public of India that by using those branded products can be helpful and trusted. To conclude, I support the monetary expenses of few governments on making some individuals to be succesful in global sporting events. On the other hand focusing on general public is also important therefore the money spent on these individual should be used fairly so that it can benefit whole country.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
on training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful in multi-national sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
instead
providing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenments
should
rather
focus more on
Possible spelling mistake found.
diversifing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and support that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
and spend tons of money for making the
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
precious metals at international sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Firstly
, I like to draw reads attention towards the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world gather to one place to celebrate the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the common interest of diversified population.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are held
to maintain peace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
trade agreements with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is the place where one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can showcase their talents and attract friendship
Possible spelling mistake found.
amoung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which share
Possible spelling mistake found.
boundries
and which intend to have healthy relations.

Secondly
, The participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
also
signifies that how likely they are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in times of natural
Possible spelling mistake found.
calamiites
and border issues. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
great importance henceforth few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to represent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them proud by wining prestigious medals and certificates in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. By spending and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletes
promotes general awareness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
atteact
foreign brands and products which
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in terms of generating employment, foreign direct investments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. Example: Olympics
is held
every 5 years and one of the wrestler name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushil
Possible spelling mistake found.
kumar
won silver medal for India attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign brands asking him to endorse for their products such as health supplements and sporting gears. This generated interest
in general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
of India that by using those branded products can be helpful and trusted.

To conclude
, I support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
expenses of few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
on making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand focusing on general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
therefore
the money spent on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fairly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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