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Some governments encourage the businesses to move from cities to rural areas.does the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In this modern world, there are some governments behind the idea of pushing the head executives of big companies and factories to relocate their offices and venues in areas outside city centres. There are minor drawbacks for this movement, people will not find these venues easily, if they are in remote areas, and, might not be accessible to public transport which makes it worst to travel. But the benefits of moving to remote areas would prevail over the drawbacks in along term. Take the negative impact of the thousands of employee and clients, who travel daily to city centre to work or making businesses, on the traffic. For instance, more than two million people travel to London for trade and commerce. The consequences are more traffic pressure and crowdedness because high rates of people prefer to use their private cars rather than using the public transport. therefore, moving companies to suburbs would help in mitigating the traffic congestion in cities. Having these factories in cities has a polluted effect on the environment. It is very difficult to deal with refuse and waste released by factories and big companies properly. The industrial waste may be mixed with the normal sewage of these industries because there is no reasonable system to deal with the wastes released from old newspapers factories as an example. this might pollute rivers because of the harmful effect of the toxicity of the inks not to mention the air pollution resulting from consuming fuel in their old engines. Moreover, it is unlikely to expand the land if the business is in the city centre because either it is very expensive to purchase a land in the centre or occupied by other business. If governments invest some money in motivating the principals of the large companies to move from city centres, the image of their countries would be improved and this will contribute to take their nations to prosperity.
In this modern world, there are
some
governments
behind the
idea
of pushing the head executives of
big
companies
and
factories
to relocate their offices and venues in areas outside city
centres
. There are minor drawbacks for this movement,
people
will not find these venues
easily
, if they are in remote areas, and, might not be accessible to public transport which
makes
it worst to travel.
But
the benefits of moving to remote areas would prevail over the drawbacks in along term.

Take the
negative
impact of the thousands of employee and clients, who travel daily to city
centre
to work or making businesses, on the traffic.
For instance
, more than two million
people
travel to London for trade and commerce. The consequences are more traffic pressure and
crowdedness
because
high rates of
people
prefer to
use
their private cars
rather
than using the public transport.
therefore
, moving
companies
to suburbs would
help
in mitigating the traffic congestion in cities.

Having these
factories
in
cities
has a polluted effect on the environment. It is
very
difficult to deal with refuse and waste released by
factories
and
big
companies
properly
. The industrial waste may
be mixed
with the normal sewage of these industries
because
there is no reasonable system to deal with the wastes released from
old
newspapers
factories
as an example.
this
might pollute rivers
because
of the harmful effect of the toxicity of the inks not to mention the air pollution resulting from consuming fuel in their
old
engines.

Moreover
, it is unlikely to expand the land if the business is in the city
centre
because
either it is
very
expensive to
purchase
a land in the
centre
or occupied by other business.

If
governments
invest
some
money in motivating the principals of the large
companies
to
move
from city
centres
, the image of their countries would be
improved
and this will contribute to take their nations to prosperity.
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IELTS essay Some governments encourage the businesses to move from cities to rural areas. does the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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