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Some people believe that universities should only offer places to young students with high marks. Others believe that people of all ages and with low marks should be allowed to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are some who thinks that exemplary students are the only ones allowed to enter universities while others believe that it should be open to all without discrimination. I believe with the latter notion where everyone has an equal chance to receive quality education. In one hand, some of the universities have a high standard when it comes to evaluation of students upon enrolment. Before a young enrolee could enter a university, they have to file an application form and take an entrance examination. Only those who passed the test with high marks are allowed to enrol. This has been the system of the university to ensure that they offers excellent education and can assure the society that they can produce outstanding students. Harvard University is an example where having a high grade matters and those with below the standard academic marks are not qualified to enter their university. On the other hand, some university is open to accept any students regardless of their age and academic performance as long as they are willing and eager to learn. This type of university knows not to discriminate student because they are aware that not all has the capability to send their young student to school. Moreover, most of the students came from middle-class or low-class family and some of them need to find a part-time job to support their studies. In addition, other university like state universities offer job and scholarship to their students. However, they have to maintain a good academic standing. I therefore think that universities should not be biased on their criteria for selecting a student. Whatever may be their age or grade, everyone should have an equal opportunity to receive quality education.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that exemplary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
while others believe that it should be open to all without discrimination. I believe with the latter notion where everyone has an equal chance to receive quality education.

In one hand,
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have a high standard when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to evaluation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
upon
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enrolment’ is British English.
enrolment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
a young
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrolee
could enter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
file an application form and take an entrance examination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
those who passed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
with high marks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to enrol. This has been the system of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to ensure that they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “offer”
offers
excellent education and can assure the society that they can produce outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is an example where having a high grade matters and those with below the standard academic marks are not qualified to enter their university.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is open to accept any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regardless of their age and academic performance as long as they are willing and eager to learn. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
knows not to discriminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware that not all has the capability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to school.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
came from middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them need to find a part-time job to support their studies.
In addition
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
like state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
offer job and scholarship to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic standing.

I
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should not
be biased
on their criteria for selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. Whatever may be their age or grade, everyone should have an equal opportunity to receive quality education.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that universities should only offer places to young students with high marks. Others believe that people of all ages and with low marks should be allowed to study.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that universities should only offer places to young students with high marks. Others believe that people of all ages and with low marks should be allowed to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion.