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some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school LV9R
In the era of communication that individuals are living in, languages are playing an important role for better worldwide comprehension and connection in business, politics, technology, and so on. Regarding this fundamental need, some experts presume prioritizing the junior school for learning a foreign language rather than the secondary school would be better for children. In the following paragraphs, I will illustrate this idea’s positive and negative outcomes. Initiating a foreign language in primary school can bring some benefits for the children. Firstly, regarding some researches learning would be much faster and subjects will be crammed by children. Secondly, kids can become more familiar with different languages and choose which one looks more interesting, and would be followed by them in subsequent years when they become older. In addition, these new languages may seem more familiar to them and they feel more convenient to use them since learning was started from primary years of their life. Teaching a foreign language to kids might have great results. On the contrary, teaching children a foreign language at younger ages can have some disadvantages too. One of these bad effects might be confusion. Lots of children cannot distinguish the differences between their own mother tongue and their second language; for example, some children use their native grammar structure, which may not work with the other languages and some do not comprehend many definitions of new vocabulary. Choosing these ages for starting a new language can have negative outcomes as well. To wrap up, initiating teaching kids in both junior and secondary school can have bright and dark sides, but as it seems it may be better for them to begin learning it at a younger age which might bring more advantages for them.
In the era of communication that individuals are living in,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for better worldwide comprehension and connection in business, politics, technology, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Regarding this fundamental need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts presume prioritizing the junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
rather
than the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In the following paragraphs, I will illustrate this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

Initiating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
would be much faster and subjects will
be crammed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, kids can become more familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and choose which one looks more interesting, and would
be followed
by them in subsequent years when they become older.
In addition
, these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
may seem more familiar to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they feel more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from primary years of their life. Teaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to kids might have great results.

On the contrary
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at younger ages can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too. One of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects might be confusion. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot distinguish the differences between their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother tongue and their second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
;
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their native grammar structure, which may not work with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not comprehend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
definitions of new vocabulary. Choosing these ages for starting a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes
as well
.

To wrap up, initiating teaching kids in both junior and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can have bright and dark sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as it seems it may be better for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
it at a younger age which might bring more advantages for them.
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IELTS essay some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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