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Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion. pG19
Righteous fund allocations to public sectors are prerequisite to the overall development of a nation. While a few nations are inclined more specifically towards health services and education sector expansion, however, other countries argue that laying down modern infrastructure and ample job opportunities are most important for the masses. In my personal view, thus balanced approach makes for a more positive outcome in favour of progress of the country. The government of the country should start with laying foundation of education and health care facilities in a nation. The most prominent view in support of my opinion is removal of illiteracy in second and third world countries. Especially, rural areas tend to lack basic edcuation and health care facilities. For Instance, deadly diseases Malaria and Chicken pox are highly prevalent in Asian and African countries where WHO(World health organisation) has been working in collaboration with governments to raise their health and safety levels. Finally, education is of utmost importance for a nation to thrive on self-sufficient approach with imparting the skills and qualities among native people for upcoming government projects in the country. Granted, creation of numerous employment opportunities are prerequisite to the educated society in order to retain the competent workforce in a nation. Further, reduction in crime rate and stabilisation of peace and harmony among people are positive outcomes of employment sector developments. Apart from it, Infrastructure development would catalyse the communication and travel enhancement among the people, which in turn, help them to maintain healthy work life balance. To exemplify, bullet train in Japan have enormously contributed to working community travelling hundreds of miles for work on daily basis on the contrary of permanent migration. To sum up, based on aforementioned facts it can be concluded that every nation should work towards making of judicious decisions in interlinked public sector developments. Nevertheless, absence of them would serve as a deterrent to all round development taking place.
Righteous fund allocations to public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are prerequisite to the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. While a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are inclined
more
specifically
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
expansion,
however
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
argue that laying down modern infrastructure and ample job opportunities are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the masses. In my personal view,
thus
balanced approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
for a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of progress of the country.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with laying foundation of education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facilities in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. The most prominent view in support of my opinion is removal of illiteracy in second and third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Especially
, rural areas tend to lack basic
Possible spelling mistake found.
edcuation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facilities.
For Instance
, deadly diseases Malaria and Chicken pox are
highly
prevalent in Asian and African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where WHO(World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
) has been working in collaboration with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and safety levels.
Finally
, education is of utmost importance for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to thrive on self-sufficient approach with imparting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualities among native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for upcoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
projects in the country.

Granted, creation of numerous employment opportunities are prerequisite to the educated society in order to retain the competent workforce in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Further
, reduction in crime rate and
Possible spelling mistake. 'stabilisation' is British English.
stabilisation
of peace and harmony among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes of employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
. Apart from it, Infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
would
Possible spelling mistake. 'catalyse' is British English.
catalyse
the communication and travel enhancement among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maintain healthy
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance. To exemplify, bullet train in Japan have
enormously
contributed to working community travelling hundreds of miles for work on daily basis
on the contrary
of permanent migration.

To sum up, based on aforementioned facts it can
be concluded
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should work towards making of judicious decisions in interlinked public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
.
Nevertheless
, absence of them would serve as a deterrent to all round
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
taking place.
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IELTS essay Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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