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There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits?

There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits? JGqk
There is no doubt that the advance of technology has contributed significantly to mankind. When it comes to mobile phones, however, there are some who argue that these devices have resulted in many social, medical, technical dilemmas. In my view, while mobile phones might lead to some undesirable effects, which I will explore in this essay, the benefits are still significant and outweigh the problems. It can not deny that social problems are directly or indirectly attributed to technology. Nevertheless, mobile phones just are one cause of a massive number of sources: computers, the internet, automatic devices, robots and other social networking websites. . . Mobile phones just make people become less active to some extent owning to meeting face-to-face less frequently. In addition, some mobile phones often have addicted games and applications installed which make many people stick to them and also lead sedentary lifestyles which in turn contribute to social divides. There may be some medical problems associated with mobile phones. Take for example wages, which is used to transmit calls and messages. There are some who fear that these wages could deteriorate people's brain and memory. However, it has not been proved by any scientific studies. The main technical links to mobile phones may be that people can not receive signals everywhere. Remote areas, for example, is likely to lose mobile signals more often. Nonetheless, with the advance of technology, this problem could be insignificant over time. However, these problems are undoubtedly outweighed by their benefits. Indeed, mobile phones have changed significantly people life and contributed substantially to economies. they help people, for instance, communicate with others anywhere and at any time, make people's life more convenient and entertaining. As well as this, the business and works also enhance with this fast-communicated devices. Overall, the utility of mobile phones has some certain drawbacks; however, there are easily outweighed by the benefits they bring, in my opinion.
There is no doubt that the advance of technology has contributed
significantly
to mankind. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who argue that these devices have resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, medical, technical dilemmas. In my view, while mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
might lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesirable effects, which I will explore in this essay, the benefits are
still
significant and outweigh the problems.

It can not deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
directly
or
indirectly
attributed to technology.
Nevertheless
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
are one cause of a massive number of sources: computers, the internet, automatic devices, robots and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less active to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent owning to meeting face-to-face less
frequently
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have addicted games and applications installed which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stick to them and
also
lead sedentary lifestyles which in turn contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
divides.

There may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Take
for example
wages, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to transmit calls and messages. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who fear that these wages could deteriorate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's brain and memory.
However
, it has not
been proved
by any scientific studies.

The main technical links to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
may be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not receive signals everywhere. Remote areas,
for example
, is likely to lose mobile signals more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. Nonetheless, with the advance of technology, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
could be insignificant over time.

However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
undoubtedly
outweighed by their benefits.
Indeed
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life and contributed
substantially
to economies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
, communicate with others anywhere and at any time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life more convenient and entertaining.
As well
as this, the business and works
also
enhance with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-communicated devices.

Overall
, the utility of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain drawbacks;
however
, there are
easily
outweighed by the benefits they bring, in my opinion.
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IELTS essay There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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