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Some consider that holding international events is useful for the host country. Meanwhile others see it more damaging the country's culture

Some consider that holding international events is useful for the host country. Meanwhile others see it more damaging the country's culture Lb028
NOWADAYS DURING THE PANDEMIC THE NUMBER INTERNATIONAL EVENTS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASED, THEREFORE SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HOLDING INTERNATIONAL EVENTS IS USEFUL FOR THE HOST COUNTRY. MEANWHILE OTHERS SAY IT'S MORE ADVERSE FOR THE COUNTRY'S CULTURE. IN THIS ESSAY, I WILL WRITE BOTH OPINIONS AND PROVIDE WITH MY OWN CONCLUSION IN THE END. FROM ONE SIDE CITIZENS OF THE HOST COUNTRY THINK WHILE INTERNATONAL EVENTS AT THAT TIME FORIGN PEOPLE ARE COMING INTO THEIR COUNTRIES WITH THEIR CULTURE, AS THE REASON THEY BELIEVE THIS EVENTS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. MOREOVER SOME PEOPLE HAVE A FEAR OF INTERNATIONAL DISEASES BECAUSE THEY THINK GUESTS OF INTERNATIONAL EVENTS ARE COMING WITH MEDICAL PROBLEMS. AN EXAMPLE IS THE POPULARITY OF THE CORONAVIRUS. FROM TH OTHER SIDE THE HOST COUNTRY'S POPULATION CAN MAKE A BETTER INCOME FROM INTERNATIONAL EVENTS, MOVIE FESTIVALS AND INTERNATIONAL SPORT GAMES. IN ADDITION, IF COUNTRIES ARE ORGANISING INTERNATIONAL IMPORTANT EVENTS, FESTIVALS, IT WILL BE THE FOCUS OF THE WHOLE WORLD. FURTHMORE, CITIZENS OF THE HOST COUNTRY MAKE MORE JOB, THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR SOCIETY. IT SHOULD ALSO BE NOTED THAT, THESE ESSENTIAL EVENTS ARE ORGANIZING 5 TO 7 TIMES EVERY YEAR. PERSONALLY, I AGREE TO THIS, SINCE ORGANIZING INTERNATONAL GAMES ACTUALLY ARE USEFUL FOR THE HOST COUNTRY EVEN FOR CITIZENS. FOR EXAMPLE BECAUSE WHEN ORGANIZING OLYMPIC GAMES WOULD BRING DIPLOMATIC BENEFITS TO ANY COUNTRY. IT BRING SEVERAL TOURISTS INTO THE COUNTRY WHO DO NOT ONLY WATCH THE SPORTS BUT ALSO EXPLORE THE COUNTRY AND THIS HELPED TO INCREASE TOURISM INDUSRTY AND LOCAL BUSINESS AND OF COURSE, THE INTEREST OF ADULTS IN SPORTS WILL GROWTH. IN CONCLUSION HOLDING INTERNATIONAL EVENTS CAN HAVE A SMALL EFFECT ON CULTURE, HOWEVER DIPLOMATIC AND TOURIST BENEFITS WILL BE OF GREAT BENEFIT TO THE HOST COUNTRY AND CITIZENS.
NOWADAYS DURING THE PANDEMIC THE NUMBER
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INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EVENTS
ARE
SIGNIFICANTLY
DECREASED,
THEREFORE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT HOLDING
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INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EVENTS
IS USEFUL FOR THE
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HOST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
MEANWHILE
OTHERS SAY IT'S MORE ADVERSE FOR THE COUNTRY'S CULTURE. IN THIS ESSAY, I WILL WRITE BOTH OPINIONS AND PROVIDE WITH MY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
CONCLUSION IN THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
.

FROM ONE SIDE
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CITIZENS
OF THE
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HOST
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COUNTRY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
WHILE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTERNATONAL
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EVENTS
AT THAT TIME
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FORIGN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ARE COMING INTO THEIR
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COUNTRIES
WITH THEIR CULTURE, AS THE REASON THEY BELIEVE
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
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EVENTS
ARE NOT
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IMPORTANT
.
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MOREOVER
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SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
HAVE A FEAR OF
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INTERNATIONAL
DISEASES
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
GUESTS OF
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INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EVENTS
ARE COMING WITH MEDICAL PROBLEMS. AN EXAMPLE IS THE POPULARITY OF THE CORONAVIRUS.

FROM TH OTHER SIDE THE
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HOST
COUNTRY'S POPULATION CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
A BETTER INCOME FROM
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INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EVENTS
, MOVIE FESTIVALS AND
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INTERNATIONAL
SPORT GAMES.
IN ADDITION
, IF
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COUNTRIES
ARE
Possible spelling mistake. 'ORGANISING' is British English.
ORGANISING
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INTERNATIONAL
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
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EVENTS
, FESTIVALS, IT WILL BE THE FOCUS OF THE WHOLE WORLD.
Possible spelling mistake found.
FURTHMORE
,
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CITIZENS
OF THE
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HOST
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COUNTRY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
MORE JOB, THIS IS MORE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
FOR SOCIETY. IT SHOULD
ALSO
BE NOTED
THAT, THESE ESSENTIAL
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EVENTS
ARE
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organize' and 'organise') within a single text.
ORGANIZING
5 TO 7 TIMES EVERY YEAR.

PERSONALLY
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
TO THIS, SINCE
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ORGANIZING
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INTERNATONAL
GAMES ACTUALLY ARE USEFUL FOR THE
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HOST
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COUNTRY
EVEN FOR
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CITIZENS
.
FOR EXAMPLE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
WHEN
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organize' and 'organise') within a single text.
ORGANIZING
OLYMPIC GAMES WOULD BRING DIPLOMATIC BENEFITS TO ANY
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COUNTRY
. IT BRING SEVERAL TOURISTS INTO THE
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COUNTRY
WHO DO NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
WATCH
THE SPORTS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ALSO
EXPLORE THE
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COUNTRY
AND THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPED
TO INCREASE TOURISM
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDUSRTY
AND LOCAL BUSINESS AND
OF COURSE
, THE INTEREST OF ADULTS IN SPORTS WILL GROWTH.

IN CONCLUSION
HOLDING
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INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EVENTS
CAN HAVE A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SMALL
EFFECT ON CULTURE,
HOWEVER
DIPLOMATIC AND TOURIST BENEFITS WILL BE OF GREAT BENEFIT TO THE
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HOST
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COUNTRY
AND
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CITIZENS
.
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IELTS essay Some consider that holding international events is useful for the host country. Meanwhile others see it more damaging the country's culture

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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