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Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969

Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969 G9XBg
Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969, Neils Armstrong said that: this is a huge step for humanity. At first glance, it should be seem as such that has not changed significant in most of us. However, from my perspective it has been great deal of impact on mentality a number of people around the world. Some people believe that landing on moon have been little effect on their daily lives. To some extent, it could be true but from the bigger perspective there are numerous difference on manking. For instance, from historical point of view discovery of using fire at first periods had not become with dramatically changes. Yet, it is obvious that hitherto this discovery transform us not only mentality but biological as well. In result after discovery of fire our brains have grown twenty percent bigger than before the using the fire. Consequently, a great changes have happened slowly but from a historical perspective one can see that some explorations, discoveries a milestone for us. Before Nicolaus Copernicus majority of people tought that earth on the central of the universe. Yet, after Copernicus revulation this idea faded radically so that our knowledge about space changed. Hence, the darkness of the middle ages should have been tried to surprass this idea but it was not very effective because of people start to became more curiosly about the universe and science. As a result, civilazition progress improved rapidly, and after that enlightment era began in Europe. In conclusion, I am disagree to the landed on moon did not changed appropiately in human’s lives. When it comes to history of humans some things especially science and philosophy our lives have been changed consistantly and this will be continue in the future.
Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neils
Armstrong said that: this is a huge step for humanity. At
first
glance, it should be
Consider using the past participle "seemed"?
seem
as such that has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significant in most of us.
However
, from my perspective it has been great deal of impact on mentality a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that landing on moon have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect on their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it could be true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from the bigger perspective there are numerous difference on
Possible spelling mistake found.
manking
.
For instance
, from historical point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
of using fire at
first
periods had not become with
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Yet
, it is obvious that hitherto this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
transform us not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mentality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
biological
as well
. In result after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discovery
of fire our brains have grown twenty percent bigger than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the using the fire.
Consequently
, a great
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
have happened
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from a historical perspective one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explorations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
a milestone for us.

“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nicolaus
Copernicus majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
that earth on the central of the universe.
Yet
, after Copernicus
Possible spelling mistake found.
revulation
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
faded
radically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our knowledge about space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Hence
, the darkness of the
Capitalize specific historic events, episodes, and eras.
middle ages
should have
been tried
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
surprass
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to became more
Possible spelling mistake found.
curiosly
about the universe and science.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
civilazition
progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
rapidly
, and after that
Possible spelling mistake found.
enlightment
era began in Europe.

In conclusion
, I am disagree to the landed on moon did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "change"
changed
Possible spelling mistake found.
appropiately
in human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to history of humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things
especially
science and philosophy our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Possible spelling mistake found.
consistantly
and this will be
Consider using the past participle "continued"?
continue
in the future.
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IELTS essay Apollo 11 landed on the moon in 1969

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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