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Some children start school at 7 while others start school at 4. Does starting school at a young age have more advantages than disadvantages?

Some children start school at 7 while others start school at 4. Does starting school at a young age have more advantages than disadvantages? A3g0x
In recent years, some of the parents prefer to enroll their children at an early age such as at 4, while other children start later. There are some advantages and disadvantages for children who start school at an early stage. I feel that the negative effects on children are greater. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, it is true that there is a positive impact on children who start their education at an early stage. The first reason is that an early age education will provide on increase in their intelligence such as writing and reading skills. In addition, those skills will help to expand their interests and it might connect to their future careers. The second reason is that children learn about social behavior and communication skills in society. They learn to be punctual by attending school every day. Furthermore, communication with their teachers and other students will influence their individual development of their communication skills. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages for children who attend school at an early age. Firstly, children will spend less time with their parents and siblings. This mean that some children might need to build a relationship with their parents and siblings such as express their emotional feelings in order to build their individual development. Secondly, their teacher might have to provide extra support with children’s physical and emotional if they are not able to do themselves. In conclusion, while it is true that there are some merits with children starting school at an early age, in my opinion, more and more negativities. The main problem is children need to spend as much as time with their family. Parents are much better teacher at an early age. What is more I think it is too stressful for children to be in a new environment.
In recent years,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
prefer to enroll their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
such as at 4, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
later. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage. I feel that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are greater. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, it is true that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their education at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage. The
first
reason is that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
education will provide on increase in their intelligence such as writing and reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to expand their interests and it might connect to their future careers. The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn about social behavior and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in society. They learn to be punctual by attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
every day.
Furthermore
, communication with their teachers and other students will influence their individual development of their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will spend less time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and siblings. This mean that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might need to build a relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and siblings such as express their emotional feelings in order to build their individual development.
Secondly
, their teacher might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide extra support with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
physical and emotional if they are not able to do themselves.

In conclusion
, while it is true that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, in my opinion, more and more negativities. The main problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to spend as much as time with their family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are much better teacher at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
What is more
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is too stressful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be in a new environment.

IELTS essay Some children start school at 7 while others start school at 4. Does starting school at a young age have more advantages than disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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