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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. 0rjQ
About this topic we have a lot of disagreement. Some people believe that people should not continue working once they reach the age of retirement but a lot of other opinions disappear.  First, I think that we have to work until we don't have nothing else to offer our profession. Some people during retirement period want to spend their time doing what the love the most.  Secondly, some would agree with the opinion that the retirement time is e perfect to for a person to start spending time with their family and children. I also agree with this opinion for example the doctors such as my father used to spend their whole life studying and giving his contribution for the future and for other persons. He spent the most of their time in their clinic and not find time for us.  Furthermore, the people that comes to conclusion that until 65 years old a person is able to work I think that they are supported in some researching or some studies. I want also to share a strong disagreement about the differences in retirement age. I am only prepare to discuss Albania because the age of retirement is differences and this depend on in the gender. Personally don't like this differences only because someone is a male and I'm a female and I'm powerless or more sensitive. Also, I think that job is job. To sum up, I totally agree with the topic that people should stop working when comes to retirement age. In this period they have to spend time and why not knowing new friends and spending the money that they have done only for holidays.
About this topic we have
a lot of
disagreement.
Some
people
believe that
people
should not continue working once they reach the
age
of
retirement
but
a lot of
other opinions disappear.  
First
, I
think
that we
have to
work until we don'
t have nothing
else to offer our profession.
Some
people
during
retirement
period want to spend their
time
doing what the
love
the most.  
Secondly
,
some
would
agree
with the opinion that the
retirement
time
is e perfect to for a person to
start
spending
time
with their family and children. I
also
agree
with this opinion
for example
the doctors such as my father
used
to spend their whole life studying and giving his contribution for the future and for other persons. He spent the most of their
time
in their clinic and not find
time
for us.  
Furthermore
, the
people
that
comes
to conclusion that until 65 years
old
a person is able to work I
think
that they
are supported
in
some
researching or
some
studies. I want
also
to share a strong disagreement about the differences in
retirement
age
. I am
only
prepare to discuss Albania
because
the
age
of
retirement
is differences and this depend on in the gender.
Personally
don't like this differences
only
because
someone is a male and I'm a female and I'm powerless or more sensitive.
Also
, I
think
that job is job. To sum up, I
totally
agree
with the topic that
people
should
stop
working when
comes
to
retirement
age
. In this period they
have to
spend
time
and why not knowing new friends and spending the money that they have done
only
for holidays.
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IELTS essay Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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