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Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Nejm
It is irrefutable that crimes are the one of the most dangerous problem, which threatens peaceful living of human being. A number of people argue that governments has to implement more appropriate rules and regulations to defend and reduce crime, meanwhile, other set of individuals believe that, crimes are already under control. In my point of view, appropriate authorities should take necessary action to prevent crime rate, this essay will scrutinize both views. To begin, these days’ crime rate and areas of crimes are drastically increasing day by day. Unlike in the past, now everything and everyone depend on internet, so cyber crimes are also common, every day common people facing different and variety of cyber crimes from fraudsters. For instance, many drug peddlers are using social medias as a medium of communication as well as to find customers, moreover, many individuals losing their hard earned money through internet scams. Therefore, implementing new laws to prevent this type of crime are necessary for security of society, because many countries do not have efficient cyber laws. However, some type of crimes are effectively controlled like public nuisance, traffic obligations and child labor, so that any further rules and regulations not give any result. Instead of applying more strict rules governess has to do more awareness programs to improve knowledge of people. For example, a campaign about road accident will help to individuals to aware more about important of traffic rules, because most of the people do not aware about necessity of traffic rules and its consequence. In conclusion, as per my opinion, crimes like cyber crime, terrorism and sexual abuse should control by more effective laws and punishments, even though, obligations like traffic rules, child labor and minor crimes are under control. Hence, not required any new laws to prevent or control minor crimes.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are the one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Please check whether a plural form of 'problem' should be used.
problem
, which threatens peaceful living of human being. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
implement more appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations to defend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, meanwhile, other set of individuals believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are already under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
. In my point of view, appropriate authorities should take necessary action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate, this essay will scrutinize both views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, these days’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate and areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
drastically
increasing day by day. Unlike in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everything and everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "depends", "depended".
depend
on internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
also
common, every day common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
from fraudsters.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drug peddlers are using social medias as a medium of communication
as well
as to find customers,
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals losing their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money through internet scams.
Therefore
, implementing new laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are necessary for security of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries do not have efficient
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cyber
laws.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
effectively
controlled like public nuisance,
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traffic
obligations and child labor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that any
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations not give any result.
Instead
of applying more strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
governess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do more awareness programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, a campaign about road accident will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to individuals to aware more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not aware about necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and its consequence.

In conclusion
, as per my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, terrorism and sexual abuse should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
by more effective laws and punishments,
even though
, obligations like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, child labor and minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
.
Hence
, not required any new laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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