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Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. 2E0M
Criminal rates have been decreased in many countries. Although, crime has always been a major concern for a civilized society, however many people think that further measurements should be taken to prevent anti social environment. In this essay we shall will discuss both views. There is no place for criminals in a well civilized society. We have to be more alert than before because of technology taking edge in the market. Be it for online banking or ordering food online, this is where most of the crimes takes place. On the other hand, majority of the developed countries have been working hard to develop a stronger anti fraudulent system and creating awareness amongst individuals on protecting themselves with any kind of fraud. To conclude, it is true that crime handling has been tackled very efficiently. However in my opinion further improvements can be done when government and society will work together for the betterment of the society.
Criminal rates have
been decreased
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Although, crime has always been a major concern for a civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
further
measurements should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social
environment. In this essay we
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "shall, will", "shall" or "will"?
shall will
discuss both views.

There is no place for criminals in a well civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more alert than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology taking edge in the market. Be it for online banking or ordering food online, this is where most of the crimes takes place.

On the other hand
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have been working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to develop a stronger
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti fraudulent
system and creating awareness amongst individuals on protecting themselves with any kind of fraud.

To conclude
, it is true that crime handling has
been tackled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficiently
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in my opinion
further
improvements can
be done
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will work together for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.

IELTS essay Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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