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more and more people are spending their free time watching movies, why is this? is it a good thing or bad?

more and more people are spending their free time watching movies, why is this? is it a good thing or bad? N0pg
Owing to modernisation, people like to entertain themselves by watching visual content such as movies, series in their leisure time. According to me, it is a good thing i will discuss about this statement in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, i considered this trend as a stress buster, because many individuals have heptic schedule, due to this some people became not only aggresive but also unproductive. Hence, by watching different generes of movie such as comedy, romantic and historical people feel they have more knowledge and motivated as well as learn many things from the story of movies which release stress and depression from the mind of people. For instance, a oscar awarded famous bollywood movie names 3 Idiots watched by millions of people also dubbed in many languages to watch by other nations too. The story of the movie include comedy and also a message for parents of young generation to not force thier children to select their field of education they can select their cource according to their interest and this movie liked by the society in positive manner. On the paradoxically side, many people get addicted to watching movies and series which put impact on their social life, because most of their time they spend on watching movies on the internet or television also most of the new generation largely prefer junk food instead of home cooked while they watch movies or series at home or cinema which make them fatty and couch potato. Moreover, most of individuals do not have any hobbies like gardening, knitting and so on as they do not spend time for it and mostly spend time on watching television. In conclusion, I personally feel that watching movies has an overall good imapct on people because by watching movies people learns so much about living their life in better way.
Owing to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to entertain themselves by watching visual content such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, series in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
Did you mean simply "discuss this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about this
statement in subsequent paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
considered this trend as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals have
Possible spelling mistake found.
heptic
schedule, due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
aggresive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
unproductive.
Hence
, by watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
generes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
such as comedy, romantic and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel they have more knowledge and motivated
as well
as learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from the story of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression from the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
oscar
awarded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
names 3 Idiots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
dubbed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
languages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
by other nations too. The story of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
include comedy and
also
a message for parents of young generation to not force
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
children to select their field of education they can select their
Possible spelling mistake found.
cource
according to their interest and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
liked by the society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
manner. On the
paradoxically
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and series which put impact on their social life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the internet or television
also
most of the new generation
largely
prefer junk food
instead
of home cooked while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or series at home or cinema which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fatty and couch potato.
Moreover
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the individuals") or simply say "most individuals".
most of individuals
do not have any hobbies like gardening, knitting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on as they do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for it and
mostly
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching television.

In conclusion
, I
personally
feel that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
has an
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
imapct
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
learns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much about living their life in better way.
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IELTS essay more and more people are spending their free time watching movies, why is this? is it a good thing or bad?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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