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most important factor for the business is higher money

most important factor for the business is higher money BJLaw
Money is a basic need for survival. It is often argued that, The higher wages are the crucial part of any employment. I agree with the notion and i will discuss the details in this essay. To begin with, money plays an important role in job satisfaction because if employees get a good salary package then they have a good life standards. To explain it, Everyone in the society wants respect and good lifestyle and they work hard for these things. Therefore, People always looks for the job which earn them more money. More money in the job keep the staff satisfied and become dependable in that particluar job. For example, In New Zealand, Employers offering good pay rates to attract more employees after the border closure due to coronavirus. Secondly, The good pay keeps the workers motivated. In other words, if the jobs increase the wages of the worker it makes the worker motivate all the times. By this, Any individual can keep working in the same place and remain satisfied everytime. For Instance, The organisation Macdonald's takes survey of their employees after every six months and give them payraise according to their performance. Thus, More money affect the businesses very enormously. To conclude, higher packages are vital for the everyone because it gives a good life standards and motivate the workers at the workplace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is a basic need for survival. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that, The higher wages are the crucial part of any employment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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money
plays an
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important
role in
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job
satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if employees
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get
a
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good
salary package then they have a
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good
life standards. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, Everyone in the society wants respect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for these things.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always looks for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which earn them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the staff satisfied and become dependable in that
Possible spelling mistake found.
particluar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, In New Zealand, Employers offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
pay rates to attract more employees after the border closure due to coronavirus.

Secondly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
motivated.
In other words
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
increase the wages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
motivate all the times. By this, Any individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working in the same place and remain satisfied
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
.
For Instance
, The
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
Macdonald's takes survey of their employees after every six months and give them
Possible spelling mistake found.
payraise
according to their performance.

Thus
, More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
affect the businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enormously
.

To conclude
, higher packages are vital for
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "everyone"?
the everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
life standards and motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
at the workplace.
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IELTS essay most important factor for the business is higher money

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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