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Some believe that children should follow parents advice. Other are disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that children should follow parents advice. Other are disagree. VlWLA
It is argue that children should listen their parental suggestions. However, parents play a significant role in children' character building, after certain age children should be free from parental control. There are several reasons why should children should follow their parents' advice. First of all, parents are child's first teacher who inculcates moral and social values in a child which will benefits the child in order to become a responsible adult. Moreover, parents had potential of their own life experiences which they can transfer to their offspring. These experiences, especially bad ones teach a child regarding it's good and bad objectivity and can learn something positive outcome of it. Hence, parents are the guide of their progeny in order to make them successful in a journey of responsible mature adults who will serve the nation. However, despite of above facts, sometimes parents act as a barrier for progress of their children. Therefore, it becomes essential for them to give liberty to children at particular age. It is true that, after certain age children may excuse for privacy and freedom which are obviously their rights. At this step, If parents impose their thinking and believes on children, it results in unsweetened harmony among them. Moreover, this turn out worse when parents pressurized and forced them to do so and finally affects their lovely relationship. However, I think that parents should guide their Children upto certain extent and let children to take own decisions so that they explore the world. To conclusion, Since, parents always hold significant place in children's life to make them responsible and mature adults who served the society, I believe that, they should also allow their offspring to explore the universe with appreciated guidance from them after particular age of children which creates sweet harmony between parents and children.
It is
Consider using a past participle here: "argued".
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should listen their parental suggestions.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a significant role in children' character building, after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be free from parental control. There are several reasons why should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should follow their parents' advice.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are child's
first
teacher who inculcates moral and social values in a child which will benefits the child in order to become a responsible adult.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had potential of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life experiences which they can transfer to their offspring. These experiences,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ones teach a child regarding
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
objectivity and can learn something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome of it.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the guide of their progeny in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful in a journey of responsible mature adults who will serve the nation.
However
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
above facts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
act as a barrier for progress of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, it becomes essential for them to give liberty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. It is true that, after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may excuse for privacy and freedom which are
obviously
their rights. At this step, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
impose their thinking and believes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it results in unsweetened harmony among them.
Moreover
, this turn out worse when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pressurized and forced them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
finally
affects their lovely relationship.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
certain extent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they explore the world. To conclusion, Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always hold significant place in children's life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them responsible and mature adults who served the society, I believe that, they should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their offspring to explore the universe with appreciated guidance from them after particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which creates sweet harmony between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that children should follow parents advice. Other are disagree.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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