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Some believe that allowing children to make their choices makes society of own choices, others say that it is important to make decisions that affect them

Some believe that allowing children to make their choices makes society of own choices, others say that it is important to make decisions that affect them qLoEE
Some would think that when we allow children to make choices on everyday life such as, food, clothes and entertainment is likely to consequences in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes, while others say that it is vital for the child to make decisions about matters that are affecting them. This will argue that children create habits to think about themselves only when they make their own choices always. I believe that it is crucial to consider other people to make their decisions. On the one hand, when a child only think about their own perception always in day to day life, they will become selfish. In other words, they do not think about feelings of others. This will create a danger in their life, as they are getting wrong habits. As a result, their nature becomes heartless and does not think about any relationships. For example, when we allow children to do whatever they want, them their habits are created that they will not involve others to make their life's decisions. Such young generations will make their life without relatives. Ultimately they embrace their life with anxiety. On the other hand, when youngers think about others, they give important things from them. They become humble and honest with everyone. This is the best habit to make friends and expand relationships. Therefore, they will get help from others whenever they need, so they feel happy in their life. For instance, if a child wants some new clothes, he or she will have to ask to their beloved-one to make right choice in confusion. In this way, they are connecting their feelings, which give happiness to both. I believe that this will give a nice life in future. In conclusion, if children only do what they want, then will have life with that without relatives, which makes them sad, but when they are considering others for any matters, they make more relatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
choices on everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as, food, clothes and entertainment is likely to consequences in a society of individuals who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes, while others say that it is vital for the child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decisions about matters that are affecting them. This will argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
. I believe that it is crucial to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their decisions.

On the one hand, when a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception always in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they will become selfish. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about feelings of others. This will create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as they are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
As a result
, their nature becomes heartless and does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about any relationships.
For example
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do whatever they want, them their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are created
that they will not involve others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their life's decisions. Such young generations will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without relatives.
Ultimately
they embrace their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with anxiety.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about others, they give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things from them. They become humble and honest with everyone. This is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends and expand relationships.
Therefore
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others whenever they need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel happy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, if a child wants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new clothes, he or she will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'ask'. Remove it: "ask".
ask to
their beloved-one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right choice in confusion. In this way, they are connecting their feelings, which give happiness to both. I believe that this will give a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
do what they want, then will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with that without relatives, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them sad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they are considering others for any matters, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more relatives.
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IELTS essay Some believe that allowing children to make their choices makes society of own choices, others say that it is important to make decisions that affect them

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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