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Social networking in Facebook

Social networking in Facebook NWYk2
people nowadays believe that social media like Facebook has a bad effect to ourself and other people. this essay totally disagree with the statement. Social Media has increased in popularity over the last few years. using social media can benefits our live in a good ways not only for individuals but also the society. Facebook can advantage ourself such as an effective way to keep in touch with our friends, it also can help us to find our old friends and Facebook is not only being use for communicating and entertaining but also a new way for society who wants to learn about something and become a place for online business. In the world of technology, there is no doubt that people can communicate with one another conveniently with the internet and they can reduce not only the cost but also time-consuming, In Facebook we can communicate with our family and friends just in a simple way using Facebook messenger without meeting them. for illustration, I used Facebook to keep in touch with my sister who lives in another city, its really convenience for us to stay connected with each other just by using social media like Facebook. on the other hand, Facebook offers a number of benefits to marketing professionals and small business owners alike. With its massive user base, Facebook gives marketers a nearly limitless audience for commercial messages. For example, My brother loved to promoted his business in Facebook because it was a low cost marketing strategy and gives a bigger impact in business brand awareness. As for learning, a lot of groups on Facebook are created for sharing information and experience about searching and getting scholarship so it may help a lot when you are looking for a chance to learning abroad. in conclusion, in my perspective, Facebook is not only just a application but also a good supporting tool for life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
nowadays believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like Facebook has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect to
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay
totally
disagree with the statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
has increased in popularity over the last few years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can benefits our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society. Facebook can advantage
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
such as an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with our friends, it
also
can
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help us find"?
help us to find
our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends and Facebook is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for communicating and entertaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a new way for society who wants to learn about something and become a place for online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In the world of technology, there is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can communicate with one another
conveniently
with the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time-consuming,
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
In Facebook
we can communicate with our family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
using
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Facebook messenger
without meeting them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
illustration, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Facebook to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with my sister who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in another city, its
really
convenience for us to stay connected with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like Facebook.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, Facebook offers a number of benefits to marketing professionals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners alike. With its massive user base, Facebook gives marketers a
nearly
limitless audience for commercial messages.
For example
, My brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to promoted his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was a low cost marketing strategy and gives a bigger impact in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
brand awareness. As for learning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
groups on Facebook
are created
for sharing information and experience about searching and getting scholarship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot when you are looking for a chance to learning abroad.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, in my perspective, Facebook is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
application
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
supporting tool for life.
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IELTS essay Social networking in Facebook

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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