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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? ylOV
Nowadays, almost everyone is on one social networking site or another. Some people believe that there are downsides to posting personal data on social networking platforms. In my opinion, this is true to a great extent and I generally believe that the drawbacks of using social media eclipse the benefits. Social media websites and applications allow people to connect with friends and family. They enable people to trace long lost friends and stay in touch with relatives. This is a boon for individuals living away from their near and dear ones. Social media also enables like-minded people to form virtual communities where they can share their interests and opinions, and work together for their favourite causes. Similarly, for business savvy people, it is an ideal place to find new customers and promote their products. On the downside, social media has plenty of negative aspects. Over the years, it has become a platform to show off. Many people are only using it to brag about their achievements and possessions. They frequently post on Facebook or Instagram photos and stories of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations. This can make their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel inferior. Another downside is that people are indiscriminately posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can be stolen and/or misused. For instance, when traveling people use geo-tagging apps to advertise their current location, they increase the risk of their home being burgled. Personal photos posted online can also be misused and the consequences can be disastrous. Worse than that, sometimes the owners of such platforms sell user data for profit, which may as well be used by phishers and scammers. In short, social media can be a great platform to connect with people only when it is used for its intended purpose, but in reality, these days, it is for many people merely a means to show off, and for others it is a goldmine of personal data to exploit, which explains why I am convinced that its downsides outweigh the upsides.
Nowadays, almost everyone is on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking site or another.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downsides
to posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
. In my opinion, this is true to a great extent and I
generally
believe that the drawbacks of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
eclipse the benefits.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites and applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with friends and family. They enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to trace
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lost
friends and stay in touch with relatives. This is a boon for individuals living away from their near and dear ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
enables like-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to form virtual communities where they can share their interests and opinions, and work together for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
causes.
Similarly
, for business savvy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is an ideal place to find new customers and promote their products.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downside
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Over the years, it has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using it to brag about their achievements and possessions. They
frequently
post on Facebook or Instagram photos and stories of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel inferior. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downside
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
indiscriminately
posting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information online oblivious to the fact that it can
be stolen
and/or misused.
For instance
, when traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
geo-tagging
apps to advertise their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
location, they increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of their home
being burgled
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
photos posted online can
also
be misused
and the consequences can be disastrous. Worse than that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the owners of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
sell user data for profit, which may
as well
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by phishers and scammers.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for its intended purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality, these days, it is for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
merely
a means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off, and for others it is a goldmine of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data to exploit, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why I
am convinced
that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downsides
outweigh the upsides.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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